Embassytown

Ambassador: “Welcome to the American Embassy, Mr. Vizsla and, uh, whatever that other thing is.”
Dennis: “I was kind of hoping we would end up at the Blogville embassy …”
Vermin: “HISSS! Nasty diplomat! I am a vizsla too! Can’t you tell by my ridiculous floppy ears, my slobbery jowls, and the goofy expression on my face? Not to mention my wonderful good nature??!! Stupid human!”
Ambassador: “Oooookay. Well anyway, you two have caused a pretty big ruckus for our friends here in Burkina Faso. Those kids out there are convinced you have iPhones for them.”

Dennis: “We don’t have iPhones. All we have is that box of meat and whatever is in the crate.”
Ambassador: “You mean you transported that crate across the ocean and you don’t even know what’s inside of it?”
Dennis: “If I say yes will you tell me that was bad?”
Ambassador: “Yes.”
Dennis: “In that case, no.”
Vermin: “HISSS! You can’t blame me for what’s in the crate! Blame it on the people who stashed it in a fortified warehouse with “Danger” and “Hazard” and “Risk of Serious Injury or Death” warnings painted all over the outside, but then left the roof door unlocked! They should have known someone would steal it that way! Their fault! Not mine!”

Dennis: “You didn’t mention anything about all those warnings.”
Vermin: “HISSS! You didn’t ask.”
Ambassador: “I’m going to need an explosives specialist down here in the conference room.”
Radio: “Roger. I’ll send down the expert.”

Soon …

Bob the Pyromaniac Builder: “I hear somebody needs something blown up.”
Dennis: “Oh crap.”

Meanwhile …

poetry_slam_1
Charlee: “Meow meow meow meow miaow meow.”
Chaplin: “I don’t think you can rhyme ‘miaow’ with ‘meow’.
Charlee: “I’m doing experimental free verse.”
Chaplin: “Oh, of course. How foolish of me not to recognize that.”
Spicoli: “You all hear it too, right?”
Producer Smurf: “A poetry slam? Please please please don’t let that insufferable twit Poet Smurf smurf out about this.”
Mouse: “How bad does someone have to be for you to consider him an insufferable twit?”
Poet Smurf: “Out of my way, peasants. This troubadour needs through that door.”
Producer Smurf: “Aaaiiieeee!”

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13 thoughts on “Embassytown

  1. joandstella says:

    Why doesn’t Spicoli do something? He is big, strong, and should be able to take on anything. No, I don’t want him to get hurt! Just be a problem solver!

    Stella the Good Dog

    Like

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