Overheard Around The Conference Room

Dennis: “All right, I’d like to call this meeting to order so we can discuss the new additions to the … Umm, would you two please stop cuddling and take your seats?”
Mr. Nibbles: “I think it’s cute how they’re always snuggled up.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Such constant public displays of affection are unbecoming to a cat! And I should know since I am a cat myself!”
Mouse: “You are not a cat!”
Producer Smurf: “That’ll never happen, Dennis! You’d have better luck smurfing Vanity away from his mirror or Greedy away from his pies!”
Spicoli: “Dude, you have access to pies and you haven’t shared? Not cool!”

Dennis: “Well, okay, I guess I can let the cuddling thing go so we can get down to business. First of all, I would like some assurances that you kittens are not aliens like in the famous documentary ‘The Cat from Outer Space’.”
Chaplin: “We’re not from outer space.”
Charlee: “We’re from the animal shelter.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Nasty mouse! I am too a cat! Cats hiss and climb trees. I hiss and climb trees. Therefore, I am a cat. QED.”
Mouse: “Uh-huh. You know what else hisses and climbs trees? An opossum!”
Producer Smurf: “No, I do not have access to pies. Baker smurfs the pies and Greedy steals the pies. Sometimes I get to smell the pies but that’s it.”
Mr. Nibbles: “That’s so sad, Mr. Smurf! We need to get you some pie.”

Dennis: “Hey, I’m from the animal shelter too! Next I would like some assurances that you won’t turn into either giant panthers or Nastassja Kinski like in the famous documentary ‘Cat People’.”
Spicoli: “Dude, let’s not be so hasty on that ‘no Nastassja Kinski’ rule.”
Chaplin: “Ooh! Panthers! Rawr!”
Charlee: “We’re just cats. Not were-cats.”
Vermin: “HISSS! What means this word ‘opossum’? I have not ever heard it before. Is it some sort of animal?”
Mouse: “Indeed it is an animal. It’s grey and white and it has a pouch just like yours.”
Producer Smurf: “I could smurf a pie if I really wanted one. I’m smarter than stupid Greedy and Baker. I just smurf not to get involved in village shenanigans.”
Mr. Nibbles: “I was thinking more along the lines of buying a pie, not stealing one …”

Dennis: “I’ll accept Charlee’s assurance that you are not were-cats, but Chaplin’s enthusiasm for panthers worries me a little. Finally, I’d like some assurances that you kittens aren’t getting followed by bad luck like in the famous documentary ‘Cat’s Eye’.”
Spicoli: “Dude, some day you have to learn the difference between ‘documentary’ and ‘movie’.”
Chaplin: “I don’t think we have bad luck.”
Charlee: “If we did we probably wouldn’t have ended up here.”
Vermin: “HISSS! This ‘pouch’ as you call it is the result of a rare genetic disorder called feline marsupialism. So don’t be hating.”
Mouse: “You are such a liar! There’s no such thing as ‘feline marsupialism’!”
Producer Smurf: “Buying? As in with money? Ha ha ha ha ha ha! I’m a smurf! Smurfs don’t buy things! We make what we need, or we gather it from the forest.”

Producer Smurf: “Well each of us smurfs only smurfs how to do one thing, and that’s what I do. And in case you didn’t notice there’s no forest around here.”
Mr. Nibbles: “I see. Perhaps you should consider moving back to the smurf village in the forest, then.”
Producer Smurf: “I can’t. Papa Smurf is still mad about the expose I smurfed about his fake beard.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Haters gonna hate.”
Mouse: “I am not hating! You’re just not a cat!”
Dennis: “Thank you for answering my questions, Charlee and Chaplin. I would now like to ask everyone to leave the conference room except for the cats.”

Soon …

Vermin: “HISS! So what are we talking about?”
Dennis: “Get out.”

Momentarily …

Vermin: “HISSS! Not fair! I want to hear the secret discussion too!”
Mouse: “Ooooh, tough break, Vermin ‘cat’.”

But then …

Charlee: “Dennis! Ewwwwww!”
Chaplin: “There’s no such thing as a recipe for cat box crunchies, Dennis!”
Spicoli: “Not even I get the munchies that badly …”
Vermin: “Then again, maybe I don’t …”
Papa Smurf: “My beard is not fake.”
Producer Smurf: “Riiiiight.”

15 thoughts on “Overheard Around The Conference Room

    1. hello collies its dennis the vizsla dog hay i am pritty shoor that tucker and trixie and trouble and pooh bear the kitties and saya the mighty wer reelly heer wunse and that charlee and chaplin the hipser kitties ar definitly reelly heer now!!! dada kalls the others like spicoli and the mowse and the ginnee pig and vermin and the smurf my imadjinerry frends but i bet he woodnt say that to there fayses!!! wel yoo no i meen if he cud see there fayses!!! ok bye

      Liked by 1 person

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