Tricksy Tricksy

Gollum: “We sees you nasty dogses has found our poetic license. Gollum!”
Dennis: “Well, I found a poetic license, yes …”
Vermin: “HISSS! That’s right! They are nasty dogses! You tell them, frog thing!”

Gollum: “It’s ours! Gollum! Ours! Look it has our name right on it! Gollum! We wants it back!”
Spicoli: ” ‘Issued to: Smeagol. State: The Shire. Expires: The Fourth Age.’ ”
Dennis: “Your name is Smeagol? Isn’t that a weird name for a frog?”
Gollum: “Nasty tricksy dogses! We are not a frog! Gollum!”
Vermin: “HISSS! It’s not any weirder than a nasty tricksy dog being named ‘Dennis’, is it?”

Dennis: “Okay, fine. How about I give you the poetic license back in exchange for you showing us how to get out of here without seeing any more spiders?”
Gollum: “Not good enough! Gollum! You got nasty dog slobber all over it! Gollum! We wants something extra!”
Spicoli: “What did you have in mind, ugly weird smelly not-a-frog dude?”
Gollum: “We wants to eat the mouse. Gollum!”

Mouse: “Okay, yeah, that’s not happening.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Nasty mouse! Come on! Be a team player! Ha ha ha ha ha!”
Dennis: “Maybe we can work out some other kind of a deal instead …”
Gollum: “Like what? Gollum!”

Charlee: “We challenge you to a poetry slam! If we win, Dennis keeps your poetic license and you escort us all out of here.”
Gollum: “Agreed! Gollum! And if we wins, we gets the poetic license, and eats the mouse, and the dog who smells like patchouli gives us his Ray-Bans. Gollum!”
Vermin: “HISSS! On behalf of my group, I accept this challenge.”
Mouse: “What?! No! I don’t agree to the terms of this poetry slam!”
Chaplin: “But, Charlee, we need an impartial person to judge the poetry slam.”
Gollum: “Our other personality can judge it. Gollum! He is kind and helpful and happy and impartial. Gollum!”
Dennis: “Your other personality sounds delightful. Can we meet him?”

Smeagol: “Hello! I am happy Smeagol! I hate Gollum! You can count on me to award you victory in your poetry slam!”
Mouse: “Hey, Smeagol, how about you just show us the way out and forget about poetry slams or eating mice?”

Gollum: “Nice try, tricksy tricksy mouse. Gollum!”
Spicoli: “Duuuude! That was your happy face? Are you sure it’s not just your senior yearbook photo?”