Join the Club


Gollum: “We thoughts we would have our poetry slam here in Club Smeagol instead of out in the nasty wet cold part of the cave. Gollum!”
Charlee: “Are you kidding with this? You’re kidding right?”
Chaplin: “Could we visit the buffet before the poetry slam starts?”
Charlee: “Chaplin!”
Chaplin: “Sorry, Charlee. But you know how food motivated I am.”
Spicoli: “Dude, what kind of library has a shady nightclub and buffet in a cave in the basement?”
Dennis: “The kind of library where Tucker probably had a card.”
Spicoli: “Fair enough.”


Gollum: “It’s Club Smeagol, not Club Gollum. Gollum! We has to ask Smeagol if you tricksy kitties can eat Smeagol’s food. Gollum!”
Chaplin: “Can you ask him? That’d be great.”
Dennis: “I’ll be right back.”


Chaplin: “That Smeagol guy seemed really sweet. I’m sure he’ll say―”
Smeagol: “No! Smeagol hates you all! Especially the dog who thinks Smeagol can’t see him stealing food back there!”
Mouse: “I’m doomed.”

Chaplin: “Sorry but I’m still not clear on whether or not I can visit the buffet.”
Charlee: “Why did your hat disappear when you changed personalities just then?”
Gollum: “Smeagol says our hat has cooties. We hates him! Gollum!”
Mouse: “I feel like we may have been misled on the impartiality of Smeagol as a judge …”
Spicoli: “A big buffet like that and you come back with a plate full of raw fish?”
Dennis: “It was this, or some stuff that looked like lichen, or mixed grubs, or some kind of newts, or some stuff that I’m pretty sure was just rocks.”
Spicoli: “Whoa. Worst buffet ever, dude.”
Vermin: “This buffet sounds awesome! Go get me some grubs and lichen!”

10 Comments on “Join the Club

  1. We don’t Smeagol has anything good planned for you, best to move on. There must be some good food somewhere to be found.

    Woos – Lightning and Misty


  2. Oh man Dennis, something tells me Gollum AND/OR Smeagol are up to no good!
    Jakey & Arty


  3. Hi Dennis! Food??? Did someone say FOOD?? 🙂 Loved hearing from you this morning. We’re trying to make up our minds if we should “get out of Dodge” before Hurricane Irma gets here. The peeps worry too much…..


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