Join the Club


Gollum: “We thoughts we would have our poetry slam here in Club Smeagol instead of out in the nasty wet cold part of the cave. Gollum!”
Charlee: “Are you kidding with this? You’re kidding right?”
Chaplin: “Could we visit the buffet before the poetry slam starts?”
Charlee: “Chaplin!”
Chaplin: “Sorry, Charlee. But you know how food motivated I am.”
Spicoli: “Dude, what kind of library has a shady nightclub and buffet in a cave in the basement?”
Dennis: “The kind of library where Tucker probably had a card.”
Spicoli: “Fair enough.”


Gollum: “It’s Club Smeagol, not Club Gollum. Gollum! We has to ask Smeagol if you tricksy kitties can eat Smeagol’s food. Gollum!”
Chaplin: “Can you ask him? That’d be great.”
Dennis: “I’ll be right back.”


Chaplin: “That Smeagol guy seemed really sweet. I’m sure he’ll say―”
Smeagol: “No! Smeagol hates you all! Especially the dog who thinks Smeagol can’t see him stealing food back there!”
Mouse: “I’m doomed.”

Chaplin: “Sorry but I’m still not clear on whether or not I can visit the buffet.”
Charlee: “Why did your hat disappear when you changed personalities just then?”
Gollum: “Smeagol says our hat has cooties. We hates him! Gollum!”
Mouse: “I feel like we may have been misled on the impartiality of Smeagol as a judge …”
Spicoli: “A big buffet like that and you come back with a plate full of raw fish?”
Dennis: “It was this, or some stuff that looked like lichen, or mixed grubs, or some kind of newts, or some stuff that I’m pretty sure was just rocks.”
Spicoli: “Whoa. Worst buffet ever, dude.”
Vermin: “This buffet sounds awesome! Go get me some grubs and lichen!”

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