Deus Ex Cattina


Gollum: “Well now that we has collected our new Ray-Bans from the tricksy stoner dog, we thinks it’s time to has our snacky-snack mousie. Gollum!”
Dennis: “How many pairs of sunglasses do you carry around with you, Spicoli?”
Spicoli: “Oh, a dozen or so.”
Mouse: “Nice going, hipsters. Because of you, that freak thinks he gets to eat me.”
Charlee: “He totally cheated.”
Mouse: “Of course he did! How could you be naive enough to think he wouldn’t?”
Chaplin: “Well, we are just kittens …”
Mouse: “Trouble would never have let a pseudo-hipster get the better of her like this.”
Chaplin: “Trouble? Who is Trouble?”



Trouble: “You know, Gollum, I don’t think you’re a real hipster. No real hipster would be carrying around a pack of Gauloises for this long without lighting one up.”
Gollum: “Gollum! Nasty transparent cat! We are too a hipster! Just you watch us! Gollum!”


Gollum: “See, nasty cat? We smokes if we got ’em. Gollum!”
Spicoli: “Dude looks like Douglas MacArthur’s crazy grandfather …”

Just Then …


Library Cop: “No smoking in the library. Including in the sub-sub-sub-basement. You’ll have to come with me, sir.”


Gollum: “Noo! Gollum! Nasty library copses! Nasty transparent catses! We hates you! Gollum! We hates you all! Gollum!”
Trouble: “Let this be a lesson to you, hipsters. No matter what’s going on, the rules are what we cats say they are.”
Dennis: “Wow, Trouble, that was amazing! How did you know we needed help from beyond the Rainbow Bridge?”
Trouble: “Well I heard my name three times in a row, so I had to appear. Plus I couldn’t let that weirdo beat my kitty cousins.”
Spicoli: “Hey, Vermin, I think that Gollum dude went to the same speech coach you did.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Nasty stoner dog! I don’t talk anything like that Gollum! This is why I hate you all!”

16 thoughts on “Deus Ex Cattina

  1. Hey Dennis, how are you feeling? I couldn’t write ’cause Mama wasn’t home to type for me ’cause we had a BIIIG BAAAD hurricane that took our electricity away and Mama and Papa had to stay somewhere and we had to stay at home and guard the house! I am a good guard cat! Loud!
    Meows and Squeaks,


    1. hello pyshka its dennis the vizsla dog hay i am glad that yoo wer aybel to gard the howse frum that nasty hurrikayn!!! i am dooing all rite i lost haff of the pownd and a haff that i gaynd bak but i am holding pritty steddy now at forty five pownds!!! ok bye

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Trouble can come back if you say her name 3 times! Yoicks! Lets hope nobody gets past 2 or things might start ‘sploding again. Take good care of the little kid kats, Dennis, and yourself too. Cheers, Jo and Stella at the bridge


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