Deus Ex Cattina

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Gollum: “Well now that we has collected our new Ray-Bans from the tricksy stoner dog, we thinks it’s time to has our snacky-snack mousie. Gollum!”
Dennis: “How many pairs of sunglasses do you carry around with you, Spicoli?”
Spicoli: “Oh, a dozen or so.”
Mouse: “Nice going, hipsters. Because of you, that freak thinks he gets to eat me.”
Charlee: “He totally cheated.”
Mouse: “Of course he did! How could you be naive enough to think he wouldn’t?”
Chaplin: “Well, we are just kittens …”
Mouse: “Trouble would never have let a pseudo-hipster get the better of her like this.”
Chaplin: “Trouble? Who is Trouble?”

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Trouble: “You know, Gollum, I don’t think you’re a real hipster. No real hipster would be carrying around a pack of Gauloises for this long without lighting one up.”
Gollum: “Gollum! Nasty transparent cat! We are too a hipster! Just you watch us! Gollum!”

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Gollum: “See, nasty cat? We smokes if we got ’em. Gollum!”
Spicoli: “Dude looks like Douglas MacArthur’s crazy grandfather …”

Just Then …

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Library Cop: “No smoking in the library. Including in the sub-sub-sub-basement. You’ll have to come with me, sir.”

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Gollum: “Noo! Gollum! Nasty library copses! Nasty transparent catses! We hates you! Gollum! We hates you all! Gollum!”
Trouble: “Let this be a lesson to you, hipsters. No matter what’s going on, the rules are what we cats say they are.”
Dennis: “Wow, Trouble, that was amazing! How did you know we needed help from beyond the Rainbow Bridge?”
Trouble: “Well I heard my name three times in a row, so I had to appear. Plus I couldn’t let that weirdo beat my kitty cousins.”
Spicoli: “Hey, Vermin, I think that Gollum dude went to the same speech coach you did.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Nasty stoner dog! I don’t talk anything like that Gollum! This is why I hate you all!”

16 thoughts on “Deus Ex Cattina

  1. Hey Dennis, how are you feeling? I couldn’t write ’cause Mama wasn’t home to type for me ’cause we had a BIIIG BAAAD hurricane that took our electricity away and Mama and Papa had to stay somewhere and we had to stay at home and guard the house! I am a good guard cat! Loud!
    Meows and Squeaks,
    Pyshka

    Like

  2. Trouble can come back if you say her name 3 times! Yoicks! Lets hope nobody gets past 2 or things might start ‘sploding again. Take good care of the little kid kats, Dennis, and yourself too. Cheers, Jo and Stella at the bridge

    Like

hello nice reeder its dennis the vizsla dog hay leev me a peemail if yoo want to!!! ok bye

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