A Visit From St. Ridiculous

 

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‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all thru the house,
Not a creature was stirring …

 

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… but two cats and one mouse.

 

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Vermin the Possum was hanging around …

Vermin: “HISSS! Who’s the joker who rigged up a bucket of fake snow on the branch above where I was sleeping?

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… And their old friend Sky Turtle had flown into town.

Sky Turtle: “I’m back, mammals! And I brought a bucket of shaved ice so you can celebrate my return with margaritas!”

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They woke up Spicoli, ex-DEA dog …

Vermin: “HISSS! Nasty turtle! I might have known you were the one who dumped snow on my head!”
Spicoli: “Dudes, seriously, what is going on up here? Some of us are trying to dream of sugarplums.”
Mouse: “How can you even fit under the bed, much less sleep under it?”
Spicoli: “Who said anything about sleeping?”

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… Yet throughout it all, Dennis slept like a log.

Spicoli: “Man, Dennis is out like a light.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Hey, nasty turtle! Dump that ice on the nasty dog’s head and wake him up!”
Sky Turtle: “No, I told you, it’s for making margaritas.”

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Mr. Nibbles the guinea pig was also there …

Mr. Nibbles: “Leave Mr. Dennis alone, Vermin. He’s old now and needs his rest.”
Vermin: “Pfffft! Rest? Rest?! He probably got into the spiked eggnog! Ha ha ha!”
Chaplin: “Do you smell eggnog on Dennis’s breath, Charlee?”
Charlee: “No, just kibble, various medications, and Binaca.”
Mouse: “Binaca? Where would Dennis get Binaca? And how would you know what it smells like?”
Spicoli: “Oh the Binaca is mine. I give the dude a spritz of it now and then when he’s sleeping. It makes talking to him a more pleasant experience.”

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… and Producer Smurf, who’s all hat and no hair.

Producer Smurf: “What the smurf is smurfing on here? Who smurfed a Christmas Eve post without smurfing me about it? This whole thing is a smurfing mess! Where are the decorations? Where’s the holiday theme? It’s unacceptable!”
Mr. Nibbles: “But the sheets and pillows are green and Mr. Dennis is red. Red and green are Christmas colors. We thought that would be enough to make this a Christmas Eve post.”
Producer Smurf: “Well you smurfed wrong!”

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They decided the smurf was annoying, but right.
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Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night!

Santa: “Dennis, after reviewing all these testimonials from your veterinarians, caregivers, friends, and flyball teammates about what a sweet dog you are, I have decided to reinstate you on the ‘Nice’ list, effective retroactively back to 2009. Please tell them to stop sending letters. The elves in the mail room are on the verge of revolt. Ho ho ho. Merry Christmas. Now then. Where do you keep the cookies?”

19 Comments on “A Visit From St. Ridiculous

  1. Whoooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooo!!!! Dennis is on the nice list! 🙂 Merry Christmas Dennis and friends. Merry Christmas to your Mama and Dada too!!! ❤

    Like

  2. HURRAY!!!!! Now….can you put a good word in for Rosy, Dennis??

    A Very Merry Christmas to you, the Hipster Kitties and your Mama and Dada!!!
    (along with all your staff too!)
    xoxo,
    Jakey, Arty & Rosy

    Like

  3. You sure know how to keep your cool amidst chaos. I hope you steered Santa toward the cookies for reinstating you on the nice list.

    Like

  4. WOO HOO!!!! GRATE newss Dennis!! Mee iss doin a **happy dance** fur you mee furend!!!
    Wee both are Katmass meer-acullss aren’t wee???
    ***Hi-5’sss*** Siddhartha Henry =^,.^=

    Like

  5. Of course he’s on the nice list!

    …and how did he sleep through all of that?

    We hope you had a Merry Christmas!

    Monty, Harlow, and Ramble

    Like

  6. Pingback: all i got for krismas wuz my too best frends!!! | Dennis's Diary of Destruction

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