The Operative Word

James Bond: “Baccarat. Yes, I can tell you about baccarat. But first you must tell me something.”
Dennis: “Ummm okay, let’s see. Well, I licked all the bacon in the buffet.”
James Bond: “That’s not the sort of information I meant. But thank you for telling me.”

James Bond: “What I would like to know is, who sent you here? Was it a government?”
Dennis: “Umm well I was in Washington for a hearing and ended up getting sent to Hungary, on account of I’m a Hungarian vizsla, I guess.”
James Bond: “So you are here as an operative for the United States?”
Dennis: “An operative? Oh gosh no! I haven’t pretended to be a surgeon in a long time.”
Waiter: “Your bacon and eggs, Mr. Bond.”
James Bond: “Take that back. I’ve decided to have the ham instead.”

James Bond: “What do you want to know about baccarat, Mr. Vizsla? And why do you want to know it?”
Dennis: “Well I’ve never invested in a company before, and I know rats are smart and all, but I’ve never heard of a company being started and run by one.”
James Bond: “If you’ve never heard of a company being run by a rat, you are not paying attention.”
Dennis: “I see. So you’re saying that backing a rat―sorry, ‘baccarat’―would be a safe investment?”
Waiter: “Your ham and eggs, Mr. Bond.”
Dennis: “Oh by the way, I licked all the ham too.”
James Bond: “Take that back. I would like the chorizo instead.”

James Bond: “Safe? What is safe? All I can tell you is that the more effort and ingenuity you put into it, the more you will take out.”
Dennis: “I feel like you’re quoting from a graduation speech or commencement address.”
James Bond: “Not at all. I’m talking about gambling.”
Waiter: “Your chorizo and eggs, Mr. Bond.”
James Bond: “Tell me, did you also lick the chorizo?”
Dennis: “Nope!”
James Bond: “A pity. I was beginning to hope my breakfast would consist entirely of martinis.”
Dennis: “Yeah I snarfed that stuff right up, but it was too spicy and I spit it all back into the buffet.”
James Bond: “I’ve changed my mind again. Take that back and bring me a grapefruit.”

James Bond: “I trust you did not lick or chew up and spit out all the grapefruit.”
Dennis: “I don’t think so. I didn’t even see them. Grapes are bad for dogs, anyway, so I wouldn’t eat them.”

Soon …

Waiter: “Your grapefruit, Mr. Bond.”
Dennis: “Psst, Mr. Bond, I think they’re trying to pass off dog toys as grapefruit. I carried those things around in my mouth for a while and they’re definitely not edible.”

Meanwhile, out in front …

Mr. Nibbles: “I thought this was the American embassy. Why does it say “casino”?
Spicoli: “Yo, turtle dude, are you sure this is the right address?”
Sky Turtle: “This is the place all right. That’ll be $17,000. I warned you those cat naps were adding up.”
Mouse: “Is that including what the smurf already paid me?”
Sky Turtle: “He paid me in something he called ‘smurfcoin’. As far as I can tell they’re just mushrooms.”
Mr. Nibbles: “Where are we going to get $17,000?”
Spicoli: “Well, we are at a casino. Apparently.”

11 Comments on “The Operative Word

  1. Oh well done Denis, although I think I might have EATEN the bacon and not just licked????
    Loves and licky kisses
    Princess Leah xxx

    Like

  2. We don’t know much about all that baccarat stuff, but we all would have devoured the bacon!!! And the ham!!!

    Woos – Lightning, Misty, and Timber

    Like

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