The Operative Word

James Bond: “Baccarat. Yes, I can tell you about baccarat. But first you must tell me something.”
Dennis: “Ummm okay, let’s see. Well, I licked all the bacon in the buffet.”
James Bond: “That’s not the sort of information I meant. But thank you for telling me.”

James Bond: “What I would like to know is, who sent you here? Was it a government?”
Dennis: “Umm well I was in Washington for a hearing and ended up getting sent to Hungary, on account of I’m a Hungarian vizsla, I guess.”
James Bond: “So you are here as an operative for the United States?”
Dennis: “An operative? Oh gosh no! I haven’t pretended to be a surgeon in a long time.”
Waiter: “Your bacon and eggs, Mr. Bond.”
James Bond: “Take that back. I’ve decided to have the ham instead.”

James Bond: “What do you want to know about baccarat, Mr. Vizsla? And why do you want to know it?”
Dennis: “Well I’ve never invested in a company before, and I know rats are smart and all, but I’ve never heard of a company being started and run by one.”
James Bond: “If you’ve never heard of a company being run by a rat, you are not paying attention.”
Dennis: “I see. So you’re saying that backing a rat―sorry, ‘baccarat’―would be a safe investment?”
Waiter: “Your ham and eggs, Mr. Bond.”
Dennis: “Oh by the way, I licked all the ham too.”
James Bond: “Take that back. I would like the chorizo instead.”

James Bond: “Safe? What is safe? All I can tell you is that the more effort and ingenuity you put into it, the more you will take out.”
Dennis: “I feel like you’re quoting from a graduation speech or commencement address.”
James Bond: “Not at all. I’m talking about gambling.”
Waiter: “Your chorizo and eggs, Mr. Bond.”
James Bond: “Tell me, did you also lick the chorizo?”
Dennis: “Nope!”
James Bond: “A pity. I was beginning to hope my breakfast would consist entirely of martinis.”
Dennis: “Yeah I snarfed that stuff right up, but it was too spicy and I spit it all back into the buffet.”
James Bond: “I’ve changed my mind again. Take that back and bring me a grapefruit.”

James Bond: “I trust you did not lick or chew up and spit out all the grapefruit.”
Dennis: “I don’t think so. I didn’t even see them. Grapes are bad for dogs, anyway, so I wouldn’t eat them.”

Soon …

Waiter: “Your grapefruit, Mr. Bond.”
Dennis: “Psst, Mr. Bond, I think they’re trying to pass off dog toys as grapefruit. I carried those things around in my mouth for a while and they’re definitely not edible.”

Meanwhile, out in front …

Mr. Nibbles: “I thought this was the American embassy. Why does it say “casino”?
Spicoli: “Yo, turtle dude, are you sure this is the right address?”
Sky Turtle: “This is the place all right. That’ll be $17,000. I warned you those cat naps were adding up.”
Mouse: “Is that including what the smurf already paid me?”
Sky Turtle: “He paid me in something he called ‘smurfcoin’. As far as I can tell they’re just mushrooms.”
Mr. Nibbles: “Where are we going to get $17,000?”
Spicoli: “Well, we are at a casino. Apparently.”

11 thoughts on “The Operative Word

  1. Princess Leah says:

    Oh well done Denis, although I think I might have EATEN the bacon and not just licked????
    Loves and licky kisses
    Princess Leah xxx

    Like

  2. The OP Pack says:

    We don’t know much about all that baccarat stuff, but we all would have devoured the bacon!!! And the ham!!!

    Woos – Lightning, Misty, and Timber

    Like

hello nice reeder its dennis the vizsla dog hay leev me a peemail if yoo want to!!! ok bye

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