Retrograde Amnesia

Dennis: “Okay, let me make sure I’ve got this straight. You’re James Bond, you’ve never seen me before, and this is 1986.”
James Bond: “Correct on all counts.”
Mouse: “Of course he’s never seen you before, Dennis. You met him over thirty years in his future.”
Dennis: “Right, but why didn’t his future self say anything about having met me before? I mean, people usually remember me.”

Mr. Nibbles: “Friend Mouse, did Dennis just analyze a situation and ask a logical question about it?”
Mouse: “I … I think he did.”
Dennis: “Why are you guys acting all surprised? I’m a vizsla! Vizslas are smart and stuff!”
Mouse: “Um, no reason.”

Mouse: “Well, Dennis, we can’t answer that question right now. It could have something to do with a time paradox. Or with too many martinis.”
James Bond: “Too many martinis? Tommyrot! There’s no such thing!”
Mouse: “Now my money is definitely on the martinis. But anyway, I think we have a more pressing question to answer.”
Dennis: “Ooh, what’s that?”
Mouse: “What opponent would scare James Bond so badly that he runs away and hides in a smoke-filled arcade?”

Dennis: “You know what? That is a good question. Can we please not answer it?”
James Bond: “Only the most fiendish, evil, awful, nastiest villains I’ve ever faced. Worse than Blofeld and Goldfinger.”
Dennis: “Aaaiiieee! Worse than Goldfield and Bloatfinger? Wait, what kind of silly names are those?”

Just then …

And when the smoke clears …

Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “Hello again, Mr. Bond.”
Charlee: “Look, Chaplin. Spiny squirrels.”
James Bond: “Oh bollocks.”
Dennis: “Oh crap.”
Mr. Nibbles: “Mr. Bond, you know the ninja hedgehogs? What a coincidence! So does Mr. Dennis!”
Mouse: “This cannot be happening …”

Meanwhile (sort of) …


James Bond: “You two are friends with the missing red dog, yes? Come out of there and let’s talk.”
Producer Smurf: “Oh thank smurf! Finally! I’ll smurf you anything you want to smurf about Dennis!”
Spicoli: “Dude! Shhhh! That guy has ‘narc’ written all over him!”

13 thoughts on “Retrograde Amnesia

  1. I’ve never had a martini before, but it sounds delicious. If it’s anything like bacon, there can never be too many of them! Sounds like they might make people a little cuckoo, though.

    Love and licks,


  2. Just be careful with those martinis, Dennis – you need to have all your wits about you:)

    Woos – Lightning, Misty, and Timber


  3. My mom says she agrees. You can *never* have too many martinis. Snorts and rolls with piggy laughter. Will the real James Bond stand up please. XOXO – Bacon


  4. My mum’s oldest nephew in England wrote a book called “The Politics of James Bond.” mum of course bought it but has never read it all the way through


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