Constitutional Anarchy

Dennis: “Greetings, In-n-Out Burger Manager. I am Dennis, King of California.”
Dennis the Constitutional In-n-Out Burger Manager: “I didn’t know California had a King.”
Dennis: “Neither did I! But I recently became aware that it’s almost certainly not entirely impossible that I could be and probably am the King.”
Dennis the Constitutional In-n-Out Burger Manager: “Yeah? How’d you become King, then?”

Dennis: “Well I was watching a program on television about that beagle who was once lost and homeless and then became King of England, and my friend Vermin the opossum pointed out that I was once lost and homeless and explained how, logically, that meant I must be King, too. And my friend Vermin hates me so she would never tell me I was King unless I really was King, right?”

Dennis the Constitutional In-n-Out Burger Manager:”Yeah, all right. That doesn’t sound much worse than how we do things now. So what do you need from me, King Dennis?”
Dennis: “Well, first, do you have a throne I could sit on?”

Soon …

Dennis: “Now then, could you bring in some of those free cheeseburgers we were discussing earlier?”
Dennis the Constitutional In-n-Out Burger Manager: “Certainly, Your Highness.”

But then …

USDA Inspector: “Not so fast, there, buddy. No food in the bathroom.”
Dennis the Constitutional In-n-Out Burger Manager: “Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system!”

Dennis the Constitutional In-n-Out Burger Manager: “Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I’m being repressed!”
Spicoli (off-camera): “Sorry, dude, I just want my animal-style burger and fries.”
Dennis: “Hey, could you at least leave me that turkey leg?”

Meanwhile …

White Castle Drive-Thru Operator: “BZZZT how can I BZZZT BZZT you today?”
Mouse: “I’m looking for a dog who’s dressed up like a King and may be issuing burger-related proclamations.”
White Castle Drive-Thru Operator: “BZZZZT so that was BZZZT chicken ring slider? But sorry BZZT we don’t have clams, maybe try Long John Silver.”
Harold: “Kumar, do you see a talking mouse out there?”

10 thoughts on “Constitutional Anarchy

  1. I was not aware of the no food in the bathroom rules. Mom always leaves me a secret cookie in there when she has to go out. I hope she isn’t arrested and jailed because of breaking this law. Because, well…. cookies! OK. Bye.

    Love and l;icks,
    Cupcake

    Like

  2. Dennis the King of California? Why not the Emperor of the United States like Norton. You could even issue money with your face and buy all the hamburgers you want. Of course, your subjects should give hamburgers and turkey legs to you anyways as tribute.

    Like

hello nice reeder its dennis the vizsla dog hay leev me a peemail if yoo want to!!! ok bye

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