The Pork Chop Express

Mr. Nibbles: “All right, so I think we’ve arrived at a solution that everyone can live with. First, Lo Pan will go stand by the cat tree so the Hipsters can jump from his head to the tree without any loss of altitude.”
Charlee: “Agreed.”

Mr. Nibbles: “In return for that, Lo Pan will have a special plate of liver-flavored fortune cookies baked up and sent over to Dennis.”
Lo Pan: “Agreed.”
Jack Burton: “And they all have to be good fortunes for my pal Dennis.”
Lo Pan: “Shut up, Mr. Burton!”
Dennis: “Ooh! Yes! What Jack said! Can each of my fortunes be at least fifty cents?”

Mr. Nibbles: “Now, Dennis and Jack, this isn’t an appropriate time to reopen negotiations …”
Lo Pan: “Does the dog even know what a fortune cookie is?”
Dennis: “I think so. It’s a cookie with money in it, right? Like the birthday card my mimmier and grandpa sent me.”

Just then …

Spicoli: “Yo, dudes, you look like you could use a break. Come on out front, we’re having a cookout with some pork chops I found in a truck.”

Shortly Thereafter …

Jack Burton: “Well, I guess this counts as getting my truck back.”
Dennis: “Those aren’t fortune cookies, but I’ll take them!”
Charlee: “This truck is even taller than that man with the funny hat!”
Lo Pan (on phone): “Hello, police? I would like to report an illegal barbecue in the middle of the street.”

And then …

Police Officer: “You’re all under arrest. Except for whichever one of you is Lo Pan.”
Lo Pan: “Hee hee hee!”

Soon …

Vermin: “HISS! Let me out of here! These aren’t my friends! I don’t even like them!”
Mr. Nibbles: “Well I guess our negotiations were a success. Everyone got what they wanted. More or less.”
Producer Smurf: “You just keep smurfing yourself that, Mr. Nibbles.”
Bugs Bunny: “Well if it ain’t my old friend Dennis! Wow, you sure brought a lot of people along this time! What are you in for, starting a riot?”
Spicoli: “Hey dude.”
Charlee: “Look, Chaplin, a bunny.” (chattering)

7 thoughts on “The Pork Chop Express

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