Bugs Bunny: “So you say you got set up by this Lo Pan, eh? I don’t know that guy. I usually have to put up with jokers like Elmer Fudd or Yosemite Sam. Is this Lo Pan like either of those maroons?”
Dennis: “Yep, he’s exactly like them. Except taller. And with magical powers. And a criminal empire. And, uh, legitimately dangerous.”
Producer Smurf: “I think what Dennis is smurfing to smurf is that Lo Pan smurfs nothing like those smurfs.”
Bugs Bunny: “Yeah, no kidding, Doc! He sounds more like yours truly!”
Spicoli: “The worst part of this whole thing was watching Lo Pan eat all our pork chops after we got arrested.”
Jack Burton: “You mean my pork chops.”
Spicoli: “Dude. Not the time to nitpick.”

Bugs Bunny: “Hmm, I could use a challenge. Things have been kinda boring around here lately.”
Dennis: “Well I brought a book of New York Times crossword puzzles if you want to take a crack at them.”
Bugs Bunny: “I was thinking more along the lines of busting out of here and solving your Lo Pan problem, Doc! Who’s in?”
Charlee & Chaplin: “We are! We are!”
Jack Burton: “Count me in. He’s got my truck.”
Vermin: “HISS! Me too! Me too! Us cats have got to stick together!”
Mouse: “You’re not a cat!”
Spicoli: “Dude, would you really rather continue to share a cell with Vermin, or … ?”
Mouse: “Go get him, Vermin! More power to you!”

Soon …

Mouse: “I’m a little bit surprised that someone of your, uh, written linguistic prowess is carrying around a New York Times crossword puzzle book.”
Dennis: “I’m not sure what you mean.”
Mouse: “Well it requires a lot of broad-based knowledge to do a crossword puzzle. And also you have to be able to spell.”
Dennis: “Really? I must be doing it wrong. I just shred the books. The challenging part is that they’re pretty sturdily made.”
Producer Smurf: “So is there some reason the rest of us had to smurf here instead of smurfing out with that crazy rabbit and then smurfing on home?”
Mr. Nibbles: “There’s no need to add ‘jailbreaking’ to our list of offenses, Mr. Smurf.”
Spicoli: “Yeah, dude don’t be such a smurfing criminal! Besides, according to the menu I saw, they’re serving nachos for lunch today.”

Meanwhile …

Bugs Bunny: “According to my map, we’re on Lo Pan’s estate. We just need to burrow up to his house and take him by surprise!”
Chaplin: “So you just tunnel in and out of that dungeon whenever you feel like it?”
Bugs Bunny: “Of course, Doc! Free room and board and I can come and go as I please? You can’t beat that scam! I keep waiting for Dennis to figure it out, but he never does!”
Jack Burton: “Can you clear the tunnel entrance, please? Your giant rat friend doesn’t smell great, and she keeps hitting on my amazing Jack Burton mullet.”
Vermin: “HISS! … and I loved your work in ‘Joe Dirt’, but you’ve really taken it to another level here …”
Lo Pan (thinking): “Hee hee hee!”
Charlee: “Sense of being watched. / Just paranoia? Or a / weirdo behind us?”
Chaplin: “Charlee, we’re on a secret mission. This isn’t the time to start up a haiku slam.”