Garden Pests of California

Spicoli: “Hey, dude. Trying out a new look?”
Vermin: “HISSS! Nasty dog! When the sprinklers in that field came on, they softened up the pomade so I could escape, but then it hardened up again and gave me a pompadour. What are you all doing out here?”
Spicoli: “Something’s been eating the tomatoes before they’re harvested, so we’re setting up a secret surveillance camera to see what it is.”
Mr. Nibbles: “The angle looks good, friend mouse. Let’s take a picture and make sure everything is working.”


Mr. Nibbles: “The picture looks good. I’m still worried that the lens is a little bit obvious, though.”
Mouse: “It’ll be fine. Typically animals that raid gardens or rabbits or squirrels or, you know, opossums. They’re pretty stupid. It won’t even notice the camera.”
Vermin: “HISS! Nasty mouse! We are not stupid! Umm, I mean, they. They are not stupid.”
Mouse: “Uh-huh. Anyway, let’s go inside and wait for the camera to catch something.”

Later …

Vermin: “HISSS! Baaa ha ha ha! I take it back! The mouse was one hundred percent correct about the intelligence of the garden-raiding animal! Ha ha ha!”
Charlee: “I’m very disappointed, Chaplin. I thought we were going to get to see a squirrel or a bunny.”
Chaplin: “What could be eating / Our patio tomatoes? / Guess ‘Dennis’, win prize.”
Mouse: “Well we should probably destroy this surveillance footage before it falls into the wrong hands.”
Ghost of Richard Nixon: “Burn the tapes!”

12 thoughts on “Garden Pests of California

  1. We agree also! People tend to grow so much more than they need, why not take a few? It’s not all the peoples fault as sometimes the vegetables and fruit have a mind of their own and try to overpopulate growers. And that is why they should be glad to share.


  2. BOL – that thief is no dummy – tomatoes are delish!!! Someone has been leaving tomatoes and peppers in our front landscape beds – Mom thinks it is a possum:)

    Woos – Lightning, Misty, and Timber


  3. BOL!!! BOL!!!! OMD, I did the same thingie with Ma’s tomatoes and she thought it was critters too! Then, just like you, she caught me red mouthed, and the jig was up! We doggies know what is good for us, rights?? Fresh veggies and all! I don’t see the problem Dennis….
    Ruby ♥


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