Testify!

Vinny Gambini: “Your Honor, the two Hipster yoots I represent should not be held liable for stuffie debts incurred by their brother, Dennis the Vizsla Dog.

Vinny Gambini: “For one thing, your honor, they are cats, and cats have nothing to do with dog stuffies.”
Chaplin: “Actually I do pick up Dennis’s surviving stuffies and carry them around sometimes.”
Charlee: “It’s true, he does. It’s like he’s a little dog in a cat suit or something.”
Chaplin: “I’m a little dog in a cat suit? You’re the one who plays fetch all the time.”

Vinny Gambini: “Your Honor, please disregard that testimony. Neither cat has been sworn in as a witness.”
Chaplin: “Sometimes I roll around on the floor and bunny-kick the stuffies. Bunny-kicking is totally a cat thing. Unlike fetch.”
Charlee: “Mama and Dada say he is Tucker reincarnated as a cat. I didn’t know Tucker but I’ve heard that he liked stuffies and stealing food, so this could be true.”
Vinny Gambini: “Your Honor, please disregard that testimony about their Mama and Dada. That’s just hearsay. And there’s no such thing as reincarnation.”
Judge: “I don’t know about that, Mr. Gambini. In a previous life, I was Herman Munster.”
Charlee: “I wrote a haiku about it! ‘Is Chaplin a dog / In a cat’s body? He sure / Can be annoying.'”

Chaplin: “What kind of haiku is that, Charlee? When am I ever annoying?”
Charlee: “Well, you know, Chaplin, I’m a princess and I don’t always want to play as rough as you. Sometimes you get a little carried away.”
Chaplin: “That’s just good clean wrestling fun.”
Judge: “Don’t air that dirty laundry in here, Mr. Gambini. This is not Cat Family Court.”
Vinny Gambini: “Sorry, Your Honor. Guys, ixnay on the uabblingsquay.”
Charlee: “What?”

Chaplin: “Well, I wrote a haiku too! ‘It’s not my fault I’m / Bigger and stronger. I’m just / A boy cat. So there.”
Charlee: “You just wait. I’m going to call Wonder Woman on you next time. Then we’ll see if being a boy makes you bigger and stronger.”
Vinny Gambini: “Anyway, Your Honor, about the issue of the stuffie debt …”
Judge: “Yes, well, Mr. Gambini, I’m afraid I have no actual jurisdiction here, because according to this paperwork, your clients have been served in Dance-Off Court.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Oh snap! I knew it!”

Meanwhile …

Emcee Stuffie: “Sorry, guys, looks like they’re not showing up. So you win by default.”
Mogwai Stuffie: “But I was looking forward to doing our routine. Can we perform it anyway?”
Emcee Stuffie: “Well I don’t see why not. What is it again?”
Bunny Stuffie: “We do a synchronized version of a famous dance scene from an old movie.”
Emcee Stuffie: “Ah, I love the classics! What movie? ‘Stuffies in the Rain’? ‘A Stuffie in Paris’? ‘Guys and Dolls’?”
Mogwai Stuffie: “‘Flashdance’.”

13 Comments on “Testify!

    • Charlee: “Mama and Dada really are convinced that Chaplin is Tucker reincarnated as a cat, he’s so obsessed with food.”
      Chaplin: “Well, Dada says that if you hadn’t been born before Dennis passed away, he would be convinced you were Dennis reincarnated as a cat, since you’re so obsessed with fetch. So there!”
      Charlee: “But I was born before he passed away, so I can’t be Dennis reincarnated as a cat.”
      Chaplin: “Maybe you’re Dennis pre-reincarnated. After all, we cats are not limited by any silly rules about when you can and can’t be reincarnated, or any other rules, for that matter.”
      Charlee: “Hmm, preincarnation? I think you just invented a new concept, Chaplin.”
      Chaplin: “You can use it if you give me a treat.”

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  1. So this must be why cats have to have nine lives??? Maybe by the time they get to #9 they will have run out of words that get them in trouble:)

    Woos – Lightning, Misty, and Timber

    Like

  2. When the stuffies start dancing it’s time to put the bitey on them. That’s a rule around here.

    Love and licks,
    Cupcake

    Like

  3. Tucker reincarnated as a cat; we can totally see that – naps, stealing food, playing with stuffies. All of those totally check! And since our Great Uncle Mr. Bufus was most definitely a dog in a cat suit, completely plausible, too. (That and Mom thinks that Lucy-Fur has a lot of Abby in her, even though they are barely related on our great-great-great-something or other grandfather’s side.) And Mom also seems to think that if you are Tucker reincarnated, you can’t be held liable for Dennis’ debts…. Of course, Mom know nothing about lawyering (but, apparently, neither does your lawyer), so take that with a grain of catnip…

    *kissey face*
    -Saint Fiona the Patient, Crazy Daisy, and Lucy-Fur

    Like

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