Greetings, quivering civilians! It is I, Saya the Mighty, the vampire-hunting vizsla, with an update from points north!
Now I know it has been a while since you have all heard from me, and that there have been a lot of changes around here since I moved away. For one thing, Dennis became best friends with a couple of cats. CATS, DENNIS? REALLY??? And then, of course, sadly, Dennis went to the Rainbow Bridge. I’m sure that vampires were responsible for that. After all, it happened on Halloween. Now, I know what you quivering civilians are thinking; you’re thinking there’s no evidence that vampires were involved. But do you know what? THAT’S EXACTLY HOW VAMPIRES OPERATE! They know that if they leave any trace of their presence, then I, Saya the Mighty, will hunt them down and destroy them! The fact that there is no evidence of vampires proves beyond a doubt that it was all their fault. Q.E.D. (For those not in the know, that’s an acronym for “Quick Early Death”, which is what I, Saya the Mighty, cheerfully provide to all creatures of the night. Vampires are just my favorites.)
Now, I would have liked to have attended Dennis’s memorial service, but that’s exactly what the vampires were expecting me to do. While I was there, those fiends would have been free to rampage at will, knowing I was sad and distracted. So by staying away I managed to thwart at least some of their evil plan. You all know it’s true! You can tell because there were, in fact, no rampaging vampires while the service was going on. YOU’RE WELCOME, CIVILIZATION!
Anyway, I have been quite busy over the last year or so. I have finished up a couple of levels of obedience training, although, really, I just let them think they’ve taught me obedience. It’s sort of like going undercover while remaining ready to strike at any time. Sure, I’ll sit and stay and heel, but that’s not going to stop me when the vampires attack, or, you know, something else needs to be dealt with, like squirrels. I HAVE MY EYE ON YOU, TREE RATS!
I’ve also ready for my debut in the ring, once my handlers get their schedules freed up. As you can see, I have been continuing to work on my stacking:
Ahh, look at that pleasing shape, those outstanding lines, that razor sharp form. I’m talking about my katana of course. Although I look pretty good too. Now, I’m not entirely sure what the ring is. I think it’s probably something like Thunderdome. A bunch of dogs and humans enter, and one dog leaves. AND WE ALL KNOW WHICH DOG THAT WILL BE.
Other than that I’ve mostly been hanging out with my friends and family. Well, they’re hanging out; I’m taking watch. Somebody has to keep the rest of the pack safe, and we all know it’s not going to be any of the boys, am I right?
So that’s what I’ve been up to. It’s a full time job ridding the world of blood-sucking villains while making sure everyone toes the line and stays alert and doesn’t invite any toothy strangers in for kibble when I’m not looking. And I’ll let you quivering civilians in on a secret: I AM NEVER NOT LOOKING.
Saya the Mighty out!