Hello friendlies! Lulu here! Like
some many most almost all of you, my Mama and Dada are under “shelter in place” orders. All the local parks, trails, and beaches are closed, and so is the harbor. That means no outings for me, no matter how many times I follow Dada to the door and wag my big fluffy tail when he goes out to get the mail. But does that mean I’m bored here around the house? Well, yes, it does. But I do have a few tips for keeping oneself and one’s humans occupied while everything is closed. Read on, friendlies!
Now one of the ways a lot of humans in isolation have been entertaining themselves is by putting together jigsaw puzzles, so much so that they have joined things like hand sanitizer, disinfecting wipes, and toilet paper on the list of items in short supply. Fortunately, puzzles are something you can easily create out of materials you may already have at home. I’m speaking of course of cardboard boxes.
There are several benefits to making a jigsaw puzzle for your humans out of cardboard boxes. One thing is that you get to have fun while ripping the box to pieces. Another is that the puzzle will be extra super hard for the humans, because, first, there’s no picture to help them with assembling it; and second, there’s no telling how many little pieces you might have eaten while creating the puzzle. This provides the potential for nearly endless entertainment as your humans try to find the last piece they need to reassemble the box. And if you actually end up depositing that last piece out in the yard on a potty break, well, there’s no need to tell them that.
Pro tip: If your humans aren’t quite sharp enough to assemble a jigsaw puzzle made of cardboard with no picture on it, shred something that does have a picture, like a cereal box. If you can get hold of the box while it still has cereal in it, this can also net you a tasty treat.
Now I sure do hope all my friendlies who are reading this have got plenty of food and aren’t having to make a lot of trips to the grocery store or place orders with grocery delivery services where the delivery times are two or three weeks away. One way to help make your food last longer and keep you occupied while you eat it is to change the way you consume it. Instead of putting your meal on a plate, toss it all over the floor or into a big shaggy rug. Then you can spend an hour or two finding all the pieces and eating them. By the time you finish, and before you know it, there’ll be a new episode of Westworld or something for you to watch.
Pro tip: Don’t try this with spaghetti, stew, or soup. Unless you have a tile floor, of course, in which case, splatter away!
Pro tip: If you have a yard, you can also do this out there. Just wait a few days after running the mower or else you might end up getting some grass in the food you scatter.
Supplementary pro tip from Spicoli:
Spicoli: “Getting grass clippings into the food you scatter does not turn it into an ‘edible’, dude.”
Has your human’s man-cave gotten a little overgrown with ivy? Rip that stuff out with your teeth!
Pro tip: If you have thumbs, you may want to use your hands for this, unless your teeth are very strong.
Bonus: This will have the side effect of counting towards your daily flossing.
Just because you and your humans are stuck inside doesn’t mean there aren’t still interesting things to smell. It also doesn’t mean slacking off on personal hygiene. And if you do personal hygiene properly, you can occupy yourself for a good part of the morning with it. You’ve heard of “spray, delay, and walk away”?
Well, let me introduce you to “roll and roll then take a stroll”:
Pro tip: For an extra dose of long-lasting smell, don’t spray the scent on yourself, where you’ll block most of it. Spray it directly on the floor.
Bonus: This is also a good way to deal with the situation if you accidentally set yourself on fire, say, by smoking while spritzing.
This is a difficult time for your humans if they have hobbies that take them out of the house and out among other people; for instance, Mama and Dada haven’t been out to the dance studio since March. Maybe you can encourage them to take up a hobby that can be done around the house. For instance, you can go fishing with them. Humans find this activity very relaxing.
Pro tip: Just like regular fishing, it’s not necessary to actually catch the fish.
Bonus: If you do catch this fish, you don’t need to gut and clean it. But you can if you want to.
Well, friendlies, thank you for reading this first edition of Lulu’s Life Tips! I will be back with another edition when I think of some more. Depending on how much longer this goes on, this may include more ways to keep them entertained while they’re confined to quarters. Stay tuned, and stay safe!
If you’re looking for James Viscosi’s author (or is that “other”?) blog, you can find it at jamesviscosi.com.
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