Lulu: “Thanks for coming to this meeting. So the reason I called you here is to
discuss this thing from Facebook about economic relief for The Oceanside Animals. I don’t know how much money Facebook wants to give us, but I figure it must be enough to buy some new balloons for our friend the turtle. Now, knowing Facebook, in order to get the money we’ll probably have to answer some stupid quiz to figure out what kind of coffee bean we would be, but that’s … Hey, wait, where are Charlee and Chaplin?”
Lulu: “Hey I called a meeting and you didn’t show up. Are you two doing another one of your Sunday award shows?”
Producer Smurf: “What do smurf, ‘you two’? Do you not smurf me over here? Hello, I’m Producer Smurf and the whole reason Dennis smurfed me on board years ago was to produce this show.”
Charlee: “Welcome to another edition of The Sunday Awards and Meme Show!”
Chaplin: “That’s two awards in two weeks! We’re catching up to Dennis.”
Charlee: “Uh, we’re really not. But still! It’s a good run.”
Lulu: “Really. That’s your job here? And how long had it been between award shows until recently?”
Producer Smurf: “Ummm … I forget.”
Charlee: “About 18 months.”
Chaplin: “Give or take.”
Lulu: “And according to this contract you and Dennis signed, in exchange for producing a weekly awards and meme show—”
Producer Smurf: “What?! Where did you smurf that? I thought Dennis smurfed it to pieces years ago.”
Lulu: “—you get to live rent-free in a mushroom house on the patio. How many weeks are there in 18 months?”
Charlee: “About 78.”
Chaplin: “Give or take.”
Lulu: “So that means you owe us 78 weeks of back rent.”
Producer Smurf: “78 weeks?! You want me to smurf 78 weeks of rent?”
Lulu: “Yes. Or you could just pay us back by being less obnoxious.”
Producer Smurf: “*SIGH* I’ll smurf you a check.”
Chaplin: “Thank you for this award, Kosmo! I think this may be an award that Dennis never got.”
Charlee: “Well, I mean, we all loved Dennis, but let’s be honest. Keeping things neat was hardly his specialty.”
Lulu: “Say, that’s a cozy-looking pile of pillows and blankets Dennis made himself there.”
Charlee: “Isn’t it?”
Chaplin: “Sadly, I don’t think any of them survived.”
Producer Smurf: “Let’s try to focus, people. We have a show to smurf.”
Chaplin: “Now like most awards, this one comes with rules. Here they are!”
The rules of the Real Neat Blog Award:
1. Put the Award logo on your blog.
2. Answer 7 questions asked by the person who nominated you.
3. Thank the people who nominated you, linking to their blogs.
4. Nominate any number of bloggers you like, linking to their blogs; and asking them seven questions.
5. Let them know you nominated them (by commenting on their blog etc.)
Charlee: “We’ve already done item #1 and item #3, and so let’s do item #2! Here are the questions that Kosmo passed along.”
1. Where do most visits to your blog come from?
Chaplin: “Definitely the United States, but we do have visitors from all over the world.”
Charlee: “Except from Greenland and those two countries that claim not to have any coronavirus and a few other places.”
Lulu: “It looks like we have a lot of visitors from Finland.”
Charlee: “Oh, yes, that must be Kosmo.”
Chaplin (waves): “Hi Kosmo!”
2. What is your favorite sport?
3. What has been a special moment for you so far in 2020?
Lulu: “Dada coming home from the hospital was pretty nice.”
Charlee: “You’re right, Dada coming home was a good special moment, but that was in 2019.”
Chaplin: “Hmm, how to describe 2020 … Hmm …”
Charlee: “I would say that 2020 has been a veritable train of one ‘special’ moment after another.”
Chaplin: “Good analogy. Let’s show everyone some pictures of 2020 as represented by trains.”
4. What is your favorite quote?
Charlee: “I think we have to say ‘Ok bye’?”
Chaplin: “Probably, but what about ‘Aaaaiiiiieeee!’?”
Charlee: “That was a classic too.”
Chaplin: “Let’s call it a tie then.”
5. What was your favourite class when still at school?
Charlee: “Ha ha ha ha ha ha school? Us? Ha ha ha ha ha!”
Chaplin: “Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!”
Lulu: “You know how Mama gives you two treats for doing what she wants? That’s school.”
Charlee: “Ha ha ha—wait, what?”
Chaplin: “We’re being taught things?”
Lulu: “Yes. You are.”
Chaplin: “In that case, my favorite class is the one where I get the most treats.”
6. Is there anything you wished you’d learned earlier?
Charlee: “Hmm I think that, being cats, we knew everything we needed to know right when we needed to know it.”
Chaplin: “Which is to say we know everything. Because we’re cats.”
Lulu: “I had no idea cats were so cocky.”
Charlee: “We’re not cocky. We’re just speaking the truth.”
7. What musical instrument have you tried to play?
Lulu: “Ooh! I’ll take this one!”
Producer Smurf: “Lulu! Smurf it! If I’d smurfed we were performing I would have smurfed my tooting horn instead of my shouting horn!
Charlee: “Now when it comes to nominations, we like to instead follow Dennis’s tradition in later years of inviting his nice readers to take the awards instead of assigning them.”
Chaplin: “So please, readers, if you like this award and think it would be fun to answer those questions, please consider yourselves nominated.”
Charlee: “And as for us, we’ll be hiding in the closet until Lulu is finished playing those bagpipes she made.”
Chaplin: “Hipster Kitties out!”
Spicoli: “Dude, you are going to give me my pipes back at some point, right?”
Lulu: “Sure, once I’m done blazing musical trails.”
Producer Smurf: “Hey you cats! Smurf your tails back here! I didn’t smurf ‘That’s a wrap!’ yet!”