Fundraising

Yard Turtle: “What’s with the big red banner?”
Lulu: “Well for some reason no one was in favor of getting money from Facebook, and the local health department put the kibosh on my plan to put opn a benefit concert to raise money for balloons. They got an anonymous tip and shut us down.”
Mouse: “I was the one who called the health department. You’re welcome.”
Chaplin: “So did I. That thing is worse than the vacuum cleaner.”
Mr. Nibbles: “I called them too!”
Charlee: “Me too.”
Spicoli: “I tried to call them but I accidentally ordered a bunch of pizzas instead.”

Yard Turtle: “Why did they make you cancel? Were they concerned that too many mammals would show up to listen to you play your homemade stuffie honker bagpipes?”
Lulu: “Well I asked them that exact question and they just laughed into the phone for a while, then hung up.”

Lulu: “Anyway, I guess we’ll have to think of another way to get the money to buy you your replacement balloons.”

But then …

Producer Smurf: “Here’s your check for back rent on my mushroom house. Don’t smurf it all in one place.”
Lulu: “When you said you were going to write me a check I assumed it would be a leaf with writing on it, but this looks like an actual check. Do you have a bank account?”
Producer Smurf: “Of course I smurf a bank account! You’re not going to smurf far as a producer without a bank account!”
Yard Turtle: “How far have you smurfed as a producer with a bank account?”
Producer Smurf: “Mind your own business.”

Lulu: “So if you have a bank account, why didn’t you ever help Dennis out instead of letting him go off on all those get-rich-quick schemes I keep hearing about?”
Producer Smurf: “He never smurfed me to. Plus, you know, every time I want to make a deposit I have to smurf one of the other smurfs to Gargamel to get turned into gold, and if I smurf that too often, it smurfs attention.”
Lulu: “That’s a joke right?”
Producer Smurf: “Ha ha ha! Yes, of course.”

At that moment in the smurf village …

Papa Smurf: “Has anyone seen Vanity Smurf lately?”
Rando Smurf: “No, but isn’t that his mirror over there?”

Meanwhile, one online order for balloons and helium later …

Sky turtle: “I’m off into the wild grey yonder! Bye for now, mammals and blue weirdo!”
Lulu: “So long, Sky Turtle! Happy flying!”

Later …

Vermin: “HISS! Cancelled?! But I bought tickets for my kids!”
Baby Opossum #1: “Mama! Jack’s touching me!”
Baby Opossum #2: “Am not! You’re touching me!
Baby Opossum #3: “My stomach hurts!”
Baby Opossum #4: “Mama, Jill ate all my meal worms!
Baby Opossum #5: “You said you were finished!”
Baby Opossum #4: “Did not!”
Baby Opossum #5: “Did too!”
Baby Opossum #6: “I have to pee!”
Baby Opossum #7: “Mama, Jack pushed me out of my seat!”
Vermin: “AHHH! All of you be quiet or noboy gets to eat ticks tonight!”
All Baby Opossums: “THAT’S NOT FAIR!!!”
Spicoli: “And here I thought she was grouchy because she didn’t like us calling her ‘Vermin’ …”

15 thoughts on “Fundraising

  1. Aww, I thought the benefit gig to raise moolah for balloons was a good idea, Lulu. You better refund Vermin otherwise there will be a lot of unhappy campers after something to nibble on..!

    Like

  2. BOL!! OMD, I gots to gets me some pizzas around here! I thinks I can gets Ma’s flesa card again….hmmmmm
    Anyhu, poor Mama possum, she sure does have her paws full! BOL!!
    Happy flyin’ Sky Turtle!
    Kisses,
    Ruby ♥

    Like

  3. Hey! That possum’s cousin was here the other day running along our fence, making silly faces at us…we have mealworms at the bird feeder, maybe he/she was going to steal them to get some $$…or plot some other opossum-monkeybusiness…oi-bey…yup…there was a huge crawdad in our yard today…we are way far from the nearest pond or creek…and the fence is deeply buried and tall…maybe a heron dropped it…yikes…it tried to pinch our schnozzles. Petcretary put it on a shovel and flung it far over the fence into the woods, BOL!

    Like

Leave us a woof or a purr!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.