Fundraising

Yard Turtle: “What’s with the big red banner?”
Lulu: “Well for some reason no one was in favor of getting money from Facebook, and the local health department put the kibosh on my plan to put opn a benefit concert to raise money for balloons. They got an anonymous tip and shut us down.”
Mouse: “I was the one who called the health department. You’re welcome.”
Chaplin: “So did I. That thing is worse than the vacuum cleaner.”
Mr. Nibbles: “I called them too!”
Charlee: “Me too.”
Spicoli: “I tried to call them but I accidentally ordered a bunch of pizzas instead.”

Yard Turtle: “Why did they make you cancel? Were they concerned that too many mammals would show up to listen to you play your homemade stuffie honker bagpipes?”
Lulu: “Well I asked them that exact question and they just laughed into the phone for a while, then hung up.”

Lulu: “Anyway, I guess we’ll have to think of another way to get the money to buy you your replacement balloons.”

But then …

Producer Smurf: “Here’s your check for back rent on my mushroom house. Don’t smurf it all in one place.”
Lulu: “When you said you were going to write me a check I assumed it would be a leaf with writing on it, but this looks like an actual check. Do you have a bank account?”
Producer Smurf: “Of course I smurf a bank account! You’re not going to smurf far as a producer without a bank account!”
Yard Turtle: “How far have you smurfed as a producer with a bank account?”
Producer Smurf: “Mind your own business.”

Lulu: “So if you have a bank account, why didn’t you ever help Dennis out instead of letting him go off on all those get-rich-quick schemes I keep hearing about?”
Producer Smurf: “He never smurfed me to. Plus, you know, every time I want to make a deposit I have to smurf one of the other smurfs to Gargamel to get turned into gold, and if I smurf that too often, it smurfs attention.”
Lulu: “That’s a joke right?”
Producer Smurf: “Ha ha ha! Yes, of course.”

At that moment in the smurf village …

Papa Smurf: “Has anyone seen Vanity Smurf lately?”
Rando Smurf: “No, but isn’t that his mirror over there?”

Meanwhile, one online order for balloons and helium later …

Sky turtle: “I’m off into the wild grey yonder! Bye for now, mammals and blue weirdo!”
Lulu: “So long, Sky Turtle! Happy flying!”

Later …

Vermin: “HISS! Cancelled?! But I bought tickets for my kids!”
Baby Opossum #1: “Mama! Jack’s touching me!”
Baby Opossum #2: “Am not! You’re touching me!
Baby Opossum #3: “My stomach hurts!”
Baby Opossum #4: “Mama, Jill ate all my meal worms!
Baby Opossum #5: “You said you were finished!”
Baby Opossum #4: “Did not!”
Baby Opossum #5: “Did too!”
Baby Opossum #6: “I have to pee!”
Baby Opossum #7: “Mama, Jack pushed me out of my seat!”
Vermin: “AHHH! All of you be quiet or noboy gets to eat ticks tonight!”
All Baby Opossums: “THAT’S NOT FAIR!!!”
Spicoli: “And here I thought she was grouchy because she didn’t like us calling her ‘Vermin’ …”

15 Comments on “Fundraising

  1. There’s always at least one somebody who’s not pleased with how things turn out. Bummer on the cancellation. But maybe a few well placed Smurfs will once again, ‘lift the project off the ground.’

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  2. Aww, I thought the benefit gig to raise moolah for balloons was a good idea, Lulu. You better refund Vermin otherwise there will be a lot of unhappy campers after something to nibble on..!

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  3. BOL!! OMD, I gots to gets me some pizzas around here! I thinks I can gets Ma’s flesa card again….hmmmmm
    Anyhu, poor Mama possum, she sure does have her paws full! BOL!!
    Happy flyin’ Sky Turtle!
    Kisses,
    Ruby ♥

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  4. Pingback: Wordless Wednesday: Down The Tube – The Oceanside Animals

  5. Hey! That possum’s cousin was here the other day running along our fence, making silly faces at us…we have mealworms at the bird feeder, maybe he/she was going to steal them to get some $$…or plot some other opossum-monkeybusiness…oi-bey…yup…there was a huge crawdad in our yard today…we are way far from the nearest pond or creek…and the fence is deeply buried and tall…maybe a heron dropped it…yikes…it tried to pinch our schnozzles. Petcretary put it on a shovel and flung it far over the fence into the woods, BOL!

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