Snack Quest with a Vengeance


Bilbo Baggins: “Hello, Spicoli. What can I do for you today?”
Spicoli: “Hey dude! This is my friend Chaplin. He’s on a quest for snacks.”
Chaplin: “Aren’t you a little big for a gopher?”


Bilbo Baggins: “I would be big for a gopher, if I were a gopher. But I am in fact not a gopher. I am a hobbit.”
Chaplin: “A hobbit? What’s a hobbit? Is that like a mole?”
Spicoli: “Dude! Stop comparing my snack guy to small subterranean mammals!”


Chaplin: “Sorry but I don’t see ‘hobbit’ in my ‘Complete Idiot’s Guide to Stuf Wot Dennis the Vizsla Dog Ran into Bak in the Day’ so I’m still not sure what exactly you are.”
Spicoli: “Really? It doesn’t seem possible that Dennis never met a hobbit.”
Bilbo Baggins: “Dennis the Vizsla? As in the sidekick of Tucker the Much Better Vizsla thatn Dennis?”
Spicoli: “Well, I think Dennis might dispute that ‘sidekick’ characterization, dude, but … Wait, are you saying you knew Tucker?”
Bilbo Baggins: “Oh certainly. I had him over for elevenses many times. He regaled me with stories about all the times he saved his inept sister Trixie and his cowardly brother Dennis.”


*cricket chirping*


Bilbo Baggins: “Sorry, Frodo usually keeps the place clear of crickets and such, but I haven’t seen him around much lately.”
Cricket: “Aaaaaiiiieeee!”


Spicoli (extremely delayed reaction): “Yeah all right that sounds like something Tucker would say …”


Chaplin: “That cricket was tasty. I probably should have brought it to Charlee and Lulu as my snack.”
Spicoli: “Dude, I don’t think one cricket is going to get you into the Princess Club.”
Bilbo Baggins: “Oh, yes, I’m terribly sorry. You’re in need of snacks. Come join me for elevenses and we’ll discuss options.”


Bilbo Baggins: “Right this way, just follow me.”
Chaplin: “Spicoli, what is ‘elevenses’?”
Spicoli: “I’m not sure but if Tucker kept going to it, it must have involved food.”

Momentarily …


Bilbo Baggins: “Sorry about the poor selection. Since Tucker stopped coming I cut way back.”


11 thoughts on “Snack Quest with a Vengeance

  1. I’d love to see what not cutting back would look like! Frodo will be back from his trek before long, maybe Smeagol will follow him and bring the preciiiooouus and you can all chow down together! x

    Liked by 1 person

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