Caturday Picture Show: The Holiday Coloring Contest!

Lulu: “Hello friendlies! Lulu here! We are pre-empting the Caturday Matinee this week to present the Paper Bob Holiday 2020 Coloring Contest!”
Chaplin: “Who’s Paper Bob? Is he like Flat Stanley?”
Charlee: “I hope not. The last time Flat Stanley showed up, he stole a car and took Dennis on a car chase all around Southern California.“
Lulu: “I don’t think Paper Bob is anything like Flat Stanley. See, Mama and Dada bought some flour and stuff mail order from Bob’s Red Mill and there was a coloring contest included in the package. I got hold of it and I thought it would be fun for us animals to do something with Paper Bob.”
Chaplin: “You mean like eat him?”
Lulu: “Uh, no. Well, maybe we can do that later. But first I thought we could have our own contest where we all make a little picture with Paper Bob, and then we let the judges review them.”
Charlee: “What judges?”
Lulu: “Oh I found some names in Dennis’s old Rolodex. Okay, I’ll start.”

Simon: “So, Lulu, tell us about your Paper Bob picture.”
Lulu: “Well he’s giving me a belly rub.”
Paula: “I’m not sure a belly rub really says ‘Season’s Greetings’.”
Lulu: “Sure it does. Deck the halls with rubs of bellies, fa la la la la!”
Randy: “A backhanded belly rub is kind of weird, dawg.”

Charlee: “Is that camera looking at me? Nobody said a camera would be looking at me.”
Simon: “Relax, Charlee. I can guarantee you virtually no one is watching this show.”
Paula: “So in your picture Bob is playing with you with a flirt pole? That’s so cute. And it was sweet of you to include your brother getting a treat.”
Charlee: “Oh he’s not getting a treat. He’s about to get a creme pie smashed into his face.”
Randy: “That’s pretty cold, dawg, having that happen to your brother right at Christmas. Aren’t you worried about Santa putting on on the naughty list?”
Charlee: “But Chaplin totally deserves it. Plus my understanding is we’re all permanently on the naughty list after that whole invasion thing anyway.”

Paula: “You’re so cute and snug in that stocking, Chaplin!”
Chaplin: “I’m not cute and snug. I’m preparing to launch an attack on Paper Bob’s hat.”

Simon: “I’m afraid we’re going to have to disqualify you, Producer Smurf, since you didn’t change the picture at all.”
Producer Smurf: “What are you smurfing about? I totally smurfed the picture. I smurfed Paper Bob out of it and smurfed him with Papa Smurf.”
Paula: “Umm, sorry, I don’t see it.”
Randy: “Neither do I, Dawg.”

Paula: “So what’s going on in your picture, little mouse?”
Mouse: “It’s Paper Bob and me giving a TED talk about the food pyramid and how people should eat more grains and fruits and consume very little processed, sugary food like candy and Coca-Col—”
Simon: “Yeah sorry we’re gonna have to stop you right there.”

Randy: “It looks like Paper Bob is giving you a Habitrail type thing, and you’re standing on it chewing on the frame of the card you’re in, dawg.”
Mr. Nibbles: “Yes, that’s exactly what’s happening, friend Randy.”
Simon: “That’s a little bit meta, don’t you think?”
Paula: “Where does a card frame fit into that food pyramid the mouse showed us?”

Simon: “Spicoli, it seems like you failed to submit a picture to this contest.”
Spicoli: “I was going to, dude, but then I rolled my copy of the paper up and lit it on fire.”
Paula: “What a bizarre accident!”
Spicoli: “Uh, yeah, dude, an accident. That’s totally what it was.”

Paula: “What … what is that thing? Is it a naked caterpillar?”
Vermin: “HISS! In my picture, Paper Bob has been eaten by a giant mealworm, which I’ll be feasting on for all twelve days of Christmas, and probably New Year’s too. So what do you think? I win, right?”
Simon: “Now do you believe all the things we told you about what goes on around here, Randy?”
Randy: “I just threw up into my Coca-Cola cup.”

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Lulu: “Those three judges took off after Vermin’s picture. They didn’t even stay long enough to declare a winner.”
Vermin: “HISS! Clearly I’m the winner! They were so overwhelmed by my picture they couldn’t stand it!”
Lulu: “Well anyway, I don’t know why Dennis kept them in his Rolodex when they’re so unreliable.”
Charlee: “Compared to some of his Sunday Awards and Meme Show guest hosts, those three are rocks of stability, believe me.”
Vermin: “HISS! Stupid dog and cats! Let the readers vote!”
Lulu: “You know what, Vermin, that’s a good idea.”
Vermin: “HISS! Of course it’s a good idea! And my name is Jill, not Vermin!”
Chaplin: “Whatever, Vermin.”