Caturday Picture Show: The Holiday Coloring Contest!

Lulu: “Hello friendlies! Lulu here! We are pre-empting the Caturday Matinee this week to present the Paper Bob Holiday 2020 Coloring Contest!”
Chaplin: “Who’s Paper Bob? Is he like Flat Stanley?”
Charlee: “I hope not. The last time Flat Stanley showed up, he stole a car and took Dennis on a car chase all around Southern California.
Lulu: “I don’t think Paper Bob is anything like Flat Stanley. See, Mama and Dada bought some flour and stuff mail order from Bob’s Red Mill and there was a coloring contest included in the package. I got hold of it and I thought it would be fun for us animals to do something with Paper Bob.”
Chaplin: “You mean like eat him?”
Lulu: “Uh, no. Well, maybe we can do that later. But first I thought we could have our own contest where we all make a little picture with Paper Bob, and then we let the judges review them.”
Charlee: “What judges?”
Lulu: “Oh I found some names in Dennis’s old Rolodex. Okay, I’ll start.”

Simon: “So, Lulu, tell us about your Paper Bob picture.”
Lulu: “Well he’s giving me a belly rub.”
Paula: “I’m not sure a belly rub really says ‘Season’s Greetings’.”
Lulu: “Sure it does. Deck the halls with rubs of bellies, fa la la la la!”
Randy: “A backhanded belly rub is kind of weird, dawg.”

Charlee: “Is that camera looking at me? Nobody said a camera would be looking at me.”
Simon: “Relax, Charlee. I can guarantee you virtually no one is watching this show.”
Paula: “So in your picture Bob is playing with you with a flirt pole? That’s so cute. And it was sweet of you to include your brother getting a treat.”
Charlee: “Oh he’s not getting a treat. He’s about to get a creme pie smashed into his face.”
Randy: “That’s pretty cold, dawg, having that happen to your brother right at Christmas. Aren’t you worried about Santa putting on on the naughty list?”
Charlee: “But Chaplin totally deserves it. Plus my understanding is we’re all permanently on the naughty list after that whole invasion thing anyway.”

Paula: “You’re so cute and snug in that stocking, Chaplin!”
Chaplin: “I’m not cute and snug. I’m preparing to launch an attack on Paper Bob’s hat.”

Simon: “I’m afraid we’re going to have to disqualify you, Producer Smurf, since you didn’t change the picture at all.”
Producer Smurf: “What are you smurfing about? I totally smurfed the picture. I smurfed Paper Bob out of it and smurfed him with Papa Smurf.”
Paula: “Umm, sorry, I don’t see it.”
Randy: “Neither do I, Dawg.”

Paula: “So what’s going on in your picture, little mouse?”
Mouse: “It’s Paper Bob and me giving a TED talk about the food pyramid and how people should eat more grains and fruits and consume very little processed, sugary food like candy and Coca-Col—”
Simon: “Yeah sorry we’re gonna have to stop you right there.”

Randy: “It looks like Paper Bob is giving you a Habitrail type thing, and you’re standing on it chewing on the frame of the card you’re in, dawg.”
Mr. Nibbles: “Yes, that’s exactly what’s happening, friend Randy.”
Simon: “That’s a little bit meta, don’t you think?”
Paula: “Where does a card frame fit into that food pyramid the mouse showed us?”

Simon: “Spicoli, it seems like you failed to submit a picture to this contest.”
Spicoli: “I was going to, dude, but then I rolled my copy of the paper up and lit it on fire.”
Paula: “What a bizarre accident!”
Spicoli: “Uh, yeah, dude, an accident. That’s totally what it was.”

Paula: “What … what is that thing? Is it a naked caterpillar?”
Vermin: “HISS! In my picture, Paper Bob has been eaten by a giant mealworm, which I’ll be feasting on for all twelve days of Christmas, and probably New Year’s too. So what do you think? I win, right?”
Simon: “Now do you believe all the things we told you about what goes on around here, Randy?”
Randy: “I just threw up into my Coca-Cola cup.”

Lulu: “Those three judges took off after Vermin’s picture. They didn’t even stay long enough to declare a winner.”
Vermin: “HISS! Clearly I’m the winner! They were so overwhelmed by my picture they couldn’t stand it!”
Lulu: “Well anyway, I don’t know why Dennis kept them in his Rolodex when they’re so unreliable.”
Charlee: “Compared to some of his Sunday Awards and Meme Show guest hosts, those three are rocks of stability, believe me.”
Vermin: “HISS! Stupid dog and cats! Let the readers vote!”
Lulu: “You know what, Vermin, that’s a good idea.”
Vermin: “HISS! Of course it’s a good idea! And my name is Jill, not Vermin!”
Chaplin: “Whatever, Vermin.”

13 thoughts on “Caturday Picture Show: The Holiday Coloring Contest!

  1. It wouldn’t let us vote for more than one. If it had, we would have voted for all except the Smurf one and the Jill one. Those are wonderful, experienced judges, too bad they ran screaming for the hills when Jill showed them the giant worm thingie. XOX Lucy and Xena


      1. Xena: Yay! We think changing the election rules partway through the election if it means no one with big dyed blonde hair wins!
        Xena! You can’t just make a blanket statement like that!
        Xena: It wasn’t me that just did that, so talk to the cats.


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