A Good Hacker is Hard to Find

Mouse: “Listen, Neo, that worm you helped me with turned out to be a little slipshod. Now the ‘Cyber Authorities’ are trying to track us down.”
Neo: “Yeah, sorry about that. I was out late at a rave the night before and used the wrong code.”

Mouse: “Ugh. Really, Neo? You’re still going to raves? You know everything goes downhill when you do that.”
Neo: “I didn’t want to. Trinity made me.”
Lulu: “Hey you guys! Is this Trouble’s secret lair that I keep hearing about?”

Charlee: “Lulu, you’re not supposed to be down here. Trouble’s lair is for cats only.”
Lulu: “Really? Then what’s the mouse doing here? The mouse isn’t a cat.”
Chaplin: “The mouse has special cat permission to be here under the Tom and Jerry accords.”
Lulu: “The Tom and Jerry accords? You’re just making that up.”
Mouse: “Don’t try to blame this on Trinity. I looked at your Instagram. Trinity wasn’t even there. She was home working on sourdough starter.”
Neo: “That’s how she made me go. The whole place smelled like cheese and dirty socks.”
Lulu: “Oooh! Mouse, who is that? Ask them if I can come over and roll around in their sourdough starter.”

Neo: “Sorry, I have to go, the walls are being breached by hunter-killer robot sentinels again.”
Mouse: “You say that every time I call you out on one of your screwups, Neo. Someday you’re going to need to find a different excuse.”
Neo: “Sure sure. And listen, don’t worry about those cyber authorities. I’ll scramble their systems so they’ll never find you, and then we’ll be even.”
Mouse: “We’re still nowhere close to even, Neo.
Neo: “*SIGH* I know.”
Lulu: “Hey, are those boots sticking out from under this sheet? Do they have feet in them? What’s lying on this table?”
Chaplin: “No idea.”
Charlee: “We’ve been coming down here for almost four years now and we’re still afraid to look.”

Not long thereafter …

Neo: “Trinity, it’s Neo. Hey, listen, I have to do some more hacking for the mouse against the cyber authorities, so I’ll be late bringing you that flour for your sourdough. Also, do we have ibuprofen? I went to another rave last night and I have got such a hangov—”
Cyberman #1: “You have misdialed. We are the cyber authorities. Your call origin has been traced and all your contacts have been downloaded. Stand by for apprehension.”
Neo: “Whoops.”

11 thoughts on “A Good Hacker is Hard to Find

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