Lulu’s Life Tips: How To Overcome The Human Height Advantage

Hello friendlies! Lulu here with another life tip! Now, you may never have noticed this, but generally barking, humans are taller than dogs. This includes humans who haven’t finished growing up yet, such as children and Peter Pan and many politicians and celebrities. This gives humans an advantage when it comes to things like putting food and treats out of reach as well as when roughousing, because they can just stand up and then you can’t bitey their hands or or their faces. Fortunately, I’m here to offer a few suggestions for leveling this playing field!

Option #1: Take a hostage

“Come down on the floor with me or the pink bunny gets it.”

One approach to compel humans to get down on the floor where you can properly engage with them is to take a hostage. However, don’t make the same mistake Hans Gruber did ― it’s important to find a hostage that will properly motivate a human to rescue him, her, or it! Good choices are things like shoes, eyeglasses, wallets, etc. Bad choices are, it turns out, things like pink bunnies, either because the humans consider them expendable dog toys or, more likely, the humans think they’re just hallucinating and that there actually is no pink bunny there at all. (Pink elephants are an even worse choice.)

Option #2: Make a mess for them to clean up

“I did warn you.”

If the humans did not fall for your hostage strategy you can try piling up a bunch of hostages, along with whatever other stuff you might be able to find and shred, then jump the humans when they kneel down to pick up after you. The success of this strategy largely depends on your humans’ tolerance for messes. (Apparently the tolerance for messes is very high around here.) Another drawback of this approach, which might be evident from my photo illustration, is that after a good session of shredding and mess-making, you might fall asleep and thus miss your chance to pounce when the human comes into range.

Chaplin: “You can thank Dennis for the high mess tolerance around here.”
Charlee: “Yeah, you’re pretty much a piker compared to him. Maybe you should try destuffing the sofa.”
Lulu: “That would be impolite.”

Option #3: Lure Them with Cuteness

Success!

Humans tend to be suckers for cute behaviors, such as rolling over on your back and doing the thing where you fold your paws over. This is always worth a try. Just don’t combine it with making a mess, because for some reason humans don’t like to lie down in messes.

Option #4: Use A Platform To Make Yourself Taller

My final suggestion is one that all the cats in the audience are probably familiar with: Rather than getting the humans to come down to your level, find a way to raise yourself up to theirs! Here’s an example of my using my humans’ bed—which is something like three feet off the ground, tall enough for me to use the underside of it as my den—in order to bring the fight directly to Dada, so to speak.

Of course, the success of this approach depends on several factors, including the height and size of the platform. Too low and you’re basically still on the ground; too small and you’re liable to fall off; too high and you either won’t be able to get to it or you risk taking a nasty tumble. It can be a little tricky, especially for smaller dogs, but if you can manage it, it can work very well.

I hope you have found these life tips helpful! Lulu, over and out!

Chaplin: “A platform three feet off the ground. That’s cute.”
Charlee: “Maybe you should try climbing up to the top of our cat tree some time.”
Lulu: “It’s ‘Lulu’s Life Tips’, not ‘Lulu’s How To Get Yourself Killed Tips’.”

13 thoughts on “Lulu’s Life Tips: How To Overcome The Human Height Advantage

  1. All great tips, Lulu. The best part is the humans never realize you’ve fooled them, so they fall for it over and over. BTW, is your Dada talking wookie or what? He sure is excited to play with you like that! XOX Lucy and Xena

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  2. Lulu, your tips are excellent! Cinnamon took notes. She says her favorite is when the human is in the human litter box room, however we HAVE fallen into the bathtub and that is NOT how cats take baths! You guys make us laugh a little harder, cry a little less and smile a lot more. Happy Valentine’s Day!

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  3. Great tips! It is not only impolite to de-stuff the sofa, but you are taking the risk that the humans will choose to replace it with something not so comfy to nap on. Humans have already ceded the sofa to you, so they won’t care about their own comfort.

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  4. Those are some great tips, Lulu. We aren’t sure about the getting down on the floor with us – we worry that Mom wouldn’t be able to get back up – BOL:)

    We love that shot of you and Dada on the floor together.

    Happy Valentine’s Day from The Sweetheart Sibes – Lightning, Misty, and Timber

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  5. Clevurr. Furabuluss Tipss.
    Lulu has a tip to share: Sittin on top of a 4 foot high bookcase iss purrfection when you have a 5 foot 2 inch Hu’man liek LadyMew iss.
    Mee iss then face 2 face with her….as long as mee does NOT due ‘smackpaw; wee hang out an meow ’bout lotss of thingss like snax an treetss an toyss…you know thee IMPAWTENT thingss inn Life!!!
    Happy Valentine’ss Day Lulu, Charlee, Chaplin, Mistur Jamess an THE Missus ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
    ***purrss** BellaDharma an ((huggiess)) LadyMew

    Pee S: Mistur Jamess wee toetalle adoor yore videoss playin with Lulu….seein you happy an healthy iss just so-o wunderfull 😉

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