Hello friendlies! Lulu here with a new life tip, plus some bonus lyrics! This week’s life tip has to do with something I’m sure everyone has seen: Yards. Lots of you have them. Lots of you have walked across them. But have you ever thought about what’s underneath them?
Yes, that’s right, there’s a whole world of aromatic dirt, rocks of various sizes, and—most importantly—gophers underneath that spongy green layer!
Now you may be saying to yourself, okay, Lulu, so how do I get at this world of aromatic dirt, rocks of various sizes, and gophers that lie underneath my yard? Well, that depends on your particular situation. If you’re a human, you could always pick up a shovel. If you’re an ambitious human, you could get yourself a backhoe. If you’re a very ambitious human, you could set up a strip mine. If you’re a cat, you’re going to be too dignified to dig around in the dirt. Although you probably enjoy digging around in your litter pan, for some strange reason.
And if you’re a dog like me, well, you already know what to do.
Oh and, before I forget, here are some lyrics I wrote about what you might find underneath your yard. First, here’s the original version by somebody named David Bowie:
And here’s my version!
No one can blame you For digging a hole To get at those critters They're industrious diggers They're making tunnels Just under the lawn They think they're safe under the dirt But you've got sharp claws Dig down to the underground You'll find some tunnels Down in the underground Delicious smells Of gopher poop Ah ... They go on forever Those long gopher runs Just shove your face in The underground Underground ...
Just try not to get too dirty or you might get a bath afterwards. This is Lulu, over and out!