Lulu’s Life Tips (With Bonus Lyrics): There’s A Whole World Beneath Your Feet

Hello friendlies! Lulu here with a new life tip, plus some bonus lyrics! This week’s life tip has to do with something I’m sure everyone has seen: Yards. Lots of you have them. Lots of you have walked across them. But have you ever thought about what’s underneath them?

What’s all this then?
Smells like gopher flop sweat!

Yes, that’s right, there’s a whole world of aromatic dirt, rocks of various sizes, and—most importantly—gophers underneath that spongy green layer!

Chaplin: “I think you mean ‘patchy brown and green layer’.”
Lulu: “Fair enough.”

Now you may be saying to yourself, okay, Lulu, so how do I get at this world of aromatic dirt, rocks of various sizes, and gophers that lie underneath my yard? Well, that depends on your particular situation. If you’re a human, you could always pick up a shovel. If you’re an ambitious human, you could get yourself a backhoe. If you’re a very ambitious human, you could set up a strip mine. If you’re a cat, you’re going to be too dignified to dig around in the dirt. Although you probably enjoy digging around in your litter pan, for some strange reason.

Chaplin: “It’s called good hygiene, Lulu. You should try it sometime.”
Lulu: “Says an animal who goes to the bathroom in the house.”
Charlee: “Humans go to the bathroom in the house.”
Lulu (beat): “I have no response to that.”

And if you’re a dog like me, well, you already know what to do.

Oh and, before I forget, here are some lyrics I wrote about what you might find underneath your yard. First, here’s the original version by somebody named David Bowie:

And here’s my version!

No one can blame you
For digging a hole
To get at those critters
They're industrious diggers

They're making tunnels
Just under the lawn
They think they're safe under the dirt
But you've got sharp claws

Dig down to the underground
You'll find some tunnels
Down in the underground
Delicious smells
Of gopher poop
Ah ...

They go on forever
Those long gopher runs
Just shove your face in
The underground
Underground ...

Just try not to get too dirty or you might get a bath afterwards. This is Lulu, over and out!

Charlee: “You know, Lulu, I’m not sure telling your doggy friends to dig giant holes in their backyards is going to go over all that well with their humans.”
Lulu: “That’s why I have a legal department.”
Scrooge: “Be sure to check all local regulations before digging giant holes in your backyards.”

17 thoughts on “Lulu’s Life Tips (With Bonus Lyrics): There’s A Whole World Beneath Your Feet

  1. OMG, Lu. I think you might be part gopher your own self! You really got right in there. I am not even allowed to dig my own holes, but if I try to look inside a hole that I see along our walk Mom tells me a skunk will come out and bite my face off. Stay vigilant, but be careful, fren.

    Love and licks,
    Cupcake

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  2. Hoomans used to dig holes before toilets were invented too. Thank goodness we don’t haves to excavates in gardens with you lot because the local council would have a field day selling us all permits to dig – you get the gopher poop aromas all to yourselves.

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  3. Lulu, you are so lucky to get to dig in that hole right in your yard. We get in trouble if we try to dig holes in our yard. We’ve never had a gopher hole in the yard but there are plenty of mice/mole/vole tunnels around. They’re a lot smaller but they are still fun to stick your nose into.

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      1. You are luckier than us, friends! We live in a condo – no screens. But we can watch and hear parrots who visit our courtyard from Parrot Jungle, and boy! can we hear them! Louder than tourists!
        Meows and Purrs from The Cat Gang.

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  4. Lulu! We do love your song and we singed it in time with David Bowie! BOT, if Cinnamon tried digging holes she would so be in the dog house so! She leaves the mole and gopher and vole chasing to Kozmo! Kozmo is known for his prowess at decimating the moles that wreck Mr D’s and our garden! Have a marvellously Happy Day!

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  5. Lulu, we thought you were trying to dig a tunnel to visit us in OP. Whenever we try to find out what’s under the ground, all we get is that darn NO NO word.

    Woos – Lightning, Misty, and Timber

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  6. Wow, Lulu!! You do Benji proud!!
    Benji would dig to china if he had a chance…he has dug out several caves in our wooded area…so deep he will disappear…and only the tip of his tail is visible!! He’s a four pawed excavation machine!! If you need post holes dug, he would do it for you…just for fun! He catches moles, mice and a few other varmints….UGH!

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