The Unmasked Singer

Batman: “So tell me, have you ever considered adding cat ears to your uniform?”
Uhura: “Captain, we’ve locked onto the target destination for Josie and the Pussycats. Also, requesting permission to smack Batman upside the head.”
Captain Kirk: “Permission granted. Scotty, beam our guests down after Uhura smacks Batman.”

Meanwhile, On Earth …

The Riddler: “It’s a shame Josie and the Pussycats can’t perform. Instead of canceling the show, maybe I could strum a few tunes.”
Charlee: “Chaplin, that weirdo you hired is back. And he brought a guitar.”
Chaplin: “I didn’t have anything to do with it this time. He just showed up.”
Producer Smurf: “Oh I smurfed him to play. I also smurfed up a snack and pancake station near the entrance to smurf people to come.”

Charlee: “You realize we’re not in charge of this venue, right? So we can’t give you permission to strum tunes.”
The Riddler: “But you’re cats and cats rule the world, am I right?”
Chaplin: “Well, you’re not wrong …”
Mouse: “You weren’t by any chance in the area when Josie and the Pussycats got launched into space, were you?”
Producer Smurf: “I have no idea what you’re smurfing about.”

Just then …

Lulu: “Yay! We’re back! Who wants to celebrate by giving me a belly rub?”
The Riddler: “Nooo! You’re supposed to be marooned in space!”
Sebastian: “Hello Charlee. Hello Chaplin. So are the mouse and the smurf fair game, or … ?”
Chaplin: “We’d advise against bothering the mouse, but you can chase the smurf around if you want to.”
Producer Smurf: “Josie and the Pussycats! Thank smurf you’re here! That smurf in green was smurfing to smurf all your concert dates! Quick, go get on stage!”
Batman: “So the Riddler was behind this entire thing! But wait, is he wearing a mask from Spencer’s Gifts?”

One removed mask later …

Batman: “Great Scott! Sugar Glider! You’re the Riddler? I can’t believe it!”
Sugar Glider: “Holy busted disguise, Batman!”
Batman: “But wait, is this another mask from Spencer’s … ?”
Lulu: “You can also celebrate by giving me chin skritches.”

Another removed mask later …

Batman: “Great Scott! Underneath that mask, the Riddler is actually … Uh … One of the Backstreet Boys?”
Mouse: “I believe that is Justin Bieber.”
Justin Bieber: “That’s right, it’s me. And I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for Maroon 5 and Garbage.”
Charlee: “Maroon 5 and Garbage? But we did all the work!”
Producer Smurf: “What?! You guys, I had no idea I was smurfing for Justin Bieber! You’ve got to beliebe me!”
Lulu: “Did you just say ‘beliebe me’ instead of ‘believe me’?”
Producer Smurf: “No, of course not. Why would I smurf something like that? Ha ha ha.”

Batman: “Come on, Bieber. You’re going back to Arkham.”
Justin Bieber: “Arkham will never hold me, Batman! You know that!”
Charlee: “Why do I get the feeling we won’t get credit for any of this?”
Chaplin: “Nobody appreciates us cats properly.”
Mouse: “Oh. Yeah. A lack of appreciation. That’s your problem.”
Producer Smurf: “Lulu, you don’t beliebe I would knowingly smurf Justin Bieber’s nefarious schemes, do you?”
Lulu: “You might be more convincing if you stopped saying ‘beliebe’.”
Josie: “Well, I guess we should go get our instruments and tune up. Shame about Alex though.”

Alex: “Batman was right, this car does have a parachute. And I bet I can make a fortune selling these cute round furry things I found on the ship.”

6 thoughts on “The Unmasked Singer

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