Observed Around the Board Room

Mouse: “First, I’d like to thank everyone for coming to this in-service …”
Producer Smurf: “Why are you thanking us? The memo you smurfed out smurfed attendance was mandatory.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Why do I have to be at this stupid meeting? I was barely involved in all this nonsense!”

Mouse: “I’m just trying to be polite. You should try it some time. And the reason you’re all here is that, even though you may not have played a big role in thi particular fiasco, you know there’s going to be another one at some point, so it’ll be good for us all to get on the same page for next time.”
Chaplin: “I don’t get it. We never had post-adventure recap and review meetings when Dennis was around.”
Mouse: “Well I wrote up agendas for them, but Dennis always got hold of the paperwork and shjredded it before I could actually hold the meetings.”
Spicoli: “So that’s the reason Dennis was always shredding things.”

Mouse: “So what did we learn from this adventure?”
Chaplin: “That I’m always right.”
Charlee: “That Chaplin is never right.”
Lulu: “That Batman keeps bat-space helmets in the Batmobile even though he claims the Batmobile can’t achieve escape velocity.”
Mouse: “Those are good guesses, but the first thing I want you to take away from your experience is that Garbage is not tweeting to you for help solving mysteries.”
Chaplin: “But we did solve a mystery.”
Mouse: “Sure, for an extremely generous definition of both ‘solve’ and ‘mystery’.”

Mouse: “The second thing we learned is that Maroon 5’s name has nothing to do with people being marooned, and that they are also not tweeting for us to help them solve mysteries.”
Chaplin: “Who’s that guy?”
Mouse: “That is Adam Levine, the lead singer of Maroon 5. He is also not attempting to send you any messages or to communicate with you in any way.”
Charlee: “Look at all those tattoos. A pointing finger, ‘California’, a bird, a lion.”
Chaplin: “It must be some kind of message. Maybe a map to buried treasure!”
Charlee: “Let’s go get on the Google and see what we can find out!”

Chaplin: “By the way, it’s not ‘the’ Google, it’s just ‘Google’.”
Charlee: “Don’t start that again.”
Mouse: “Hey! Come back here! The in-service isn’t over yet!”
Mr. Nibbles: “I don’t think that went exactly how you intended, friend Mouse.”
Lulu: “If we’re looking for buried treasure, we should probably start by digging in the litter pans.”
Spicoli: “Dude. We’re not barbarians. You know that would be claimjumping on your Dada’s territory.”
Producer Smurf: “Where’d you smurf the smurfy toupee?”
Vermin: “HISSS! Some hippie was selling them out of the trunk of an old Cadillac or something.”

5 thoughts on “Observed Around the Board Room

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