Lulu’s Big Adventure, Part 2: Got Peemail?

Hello friendlies! Lulu here with Part 2 of my adventure from a couple of weeks ago, where I spent the entire day at the harbor!

Spoiler alert: It was awesome! Although I did have to spend a few minutes with my harness latched onto the seatbelt waiting for Dada to put on his giant hat and stuff.

• 

• 

• 

When Dada finally did let me out of the car, I had some trouble deciding which peemail server to check first. There are so many, and it had been so long since I checked peemail!

Well, maybe it’s a little stereotypical of me, but of course I had to start with a tree.

• 

• 

In case you were wondering how a peemail client gets from one server to another, it’s a pretty simple implementation of TCP/IP. That’s an acronym for “The Canine Pee Inspection Protocol” and basically it involves the peemail client—that is, me—walking from one peemail server to another.

There are many kinds of peemail servers. I already showed you the trees, which are big and obvious, but there can be peemail servers hidden anywhere, really. They can be installed in the grass:

They can be installed in the bushes:

They can even be installed on blacktop:

All right, so technically that last one was a poomail server and it’s hosting messages from the squawky sea birds that live in the trees around the parking lot. And maybe technically I was hacking their poomail server. But let this be a lesson to us all that neither peemail nor poomail is really secure. You never know who might come along and read it.

We walked around the harbor for a long time, while Dada kept an eye on a picnic table in the shade where somebody had been sitting the whole time, sort of like, according to Dada, the way people sit down with their laptops at Starbucks for hours and use it as their office on account of the wi-fi. But finally that person left and the picnic table became open.

• 

• 

Of course, before I could let Dada sit down in the shade, I had to inspect the surrounding hedge first to see if there was any peemail I had missed the first few times I went by.

This was also a good vantage point for observing suspicious goings-on along the dock.

We stayed in the shade for a little while and Dada sat and read his book and rested up. I didn’t need to rest, of course. I was still ready to go. But since Dada wanted to take a break from walking I figured I would humor him.

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

Eventually we left the harbor and went to a Mexican drive-thru that Dada says has good burritos. I couldn’t say, because I didn’t get to try any of it. Dada claims it’s because I wouldn’t like the hot sauce, but how would he know? Anyway I’m sure he could have broken off a little piece of it for me, but noooo. Instead of taking the burrito back to the harbor, we went up to a park called Buddy Todd up on top of a nearby hill, where we found another picnic table in the shade, Dada of course being pathologically averse to sunlight. While we were there Dada got a text that he could come back to the house and start plugging in all the equipment again, so after finishing the burrito—of which, just to reiterate, I got none—we headed back to the car. Along the way, though, I spotted something.

What I found was an entire fresh roll of doggy poop bags, in the middle of the empty field, just blowing around in the wind! Now, according to dada, several years ago, at this very same Buddy Todd park, some miscreant stole a roll of poop bags that were in a poop bag pouch belonging to my brother Tucker (who I never met), which Mama had left with the blankets where she and Dada and Tucker and Trixie (who I also never met) had been sitting; and so, it seems, on this visit to Buddy Todd, the universe had decided to even things up and return a roll of poop bags to us. Karma!

From Buddy Todd park we returned to the house, and while Dada set about getting the power back on to everything, I went to lay down and process all the peemail I had downloaded and think about fate, the universe, and the Circle of Life as it relates to poop bags.

• 

• 

So there you have it: My big adventure downloading peemail, finding poop bags, and not getting to try any of Dada’s burrito, while the termites got poisoned and electrocuted inside the walls and rafters of our house. I have to say it was a good day. Well, maybe not for the termites … Anyway, this is Lulu, wishing for the wind to bring you good things as well, and rolling over and out!