Lulu’s Life Tips With Bonus Lyrics: Unwelcome to the Boomtown

Hello friendlies! Lulu here! As you may be aware, last weekend was Independence Day weekend here in the U.S., which means, among other things, that Dada had Monday off, and we all went out for a sniff around the garden center that day while his car was getting its first oil change in almost two years. So that was fun. But unfortunately, one of the “other things” among the “other things” is that there were lots of explosions, snaps, crackles, and pops, both up in the sky and all around the neighborhood. This phenomenon is sometimes referred to as a boomtown.

Now, as you might imagine, I, like many dogs and some cats, am not a big fan of the booms and the snaps and the crackles and the pops. But as it turns out, one of the dogs who lived here before me—his name was Dennis, maybe you’ve heard of him?—was also not a fan of the booms and the snaps and the crackles and the pops, and he had a set of special ear muffs, called Mutt Muffs, that are supposed to help reduce the loudness of such scary sounds. I’m told that with Dennis, his short, slick furs and generally built-for-speed head meant that the Mutt Muffs would more or less slide right off, but it turns out that, for me, with my thick furs and not-so-streamlined head, they stayed on pretty well.

I did have to be trained with food to wear them so that I didn’t try to shake and/or paw them off. I mean, I don’t wear Mutt Muffs for free.

Then, when the fireworks really started going off, I was able to go outside and do my business in spite of the booms and pops and explosions. And by “business” I mostly mean “sniff around the barbecue grill”, because Dada was out there making steak rollups, and while my ears might have been plugged up, my nose was working fine.

And I have to say, boy that steak juice was tasty. And didn’t the steaks look good? It sure is a shame that the cats couldn’t come out and join me, but of course, they always stay in the house. No Independence Day festivities for them!

Anyway, it seems this is the first time that Mama and Dada got to really use the Mutt Muffs, and as you may have heard Dada say in the video, they were pretty impressed with how well they worked. I could tell that there was something going on around me, but the fireworks weren’t loud enough to actually scare me or make me go inside and leave the delicious steak juice/smells. In fact, at one point, after we were back in the house, I even tried to get Dada to do silly play time with me, but as it turns out, you can’t really roll around on the floor properly while wearing big plastic earmuffs. So that’s one slight drawback. But on the whole I would give the Mutt Muffs two thumbs up, if I had thumbs. Oh, wait. Hey, Blue, come here, I need to borrow your thumbs!

Now, I made it through the boomtown, but of course not all the animals are so lucky. Dada saw on NextDoor that a little dog in our neighborhood escaped during the fireworks and ran away and was struck and killed by a car. So sad! I hope all of you, friendlies, stayed safe during the scariest holiday of the year. Even scarier than Halloween! Although on Halloween the house gets assaulted by hordes of ghosts and goblins and witches and Annas and Elsas, at least they don’t explode. For the most part.

Oh, I almost forgot, I promised you some lyrics! Here they are! As you may have guessed, they are my version of that song from the beginning of today’s Life Tip, with appropriate adjustments, of course.

Folks all around me got their fireworks
Setting them off, makes my poor ears hurt
They got ones that sound like cannons
Ones that sound like a machine gun
Ones that sound like they're whistling
Well this isn't my idea of fun

Yeah I get pretty tired of it all
Yeah I get pretty tired of it all

So I say, unwelcome, unwelcome to the boomtown
Hide in the bathroom 'cause I think the house might fall down
Unwelcome, unwelcome to the boomtown
Got my Mutt Muffs to muffle the unwanted sound
Unwelcome to the boomtown

This is Lulu, rolling over and out!