CSI: The Cats

Chaplin: “What’s that smell?”
Charlee: “I’m not sure but I think it’s coming from outside.”

Momentarily …

Lulu: “Hey, guys, can you undo the latch on the door? Horatio here has a few questions for you.”
Chaplin: “You can ask your questions from over there, thanks.”
Charlee: “Yeah, don’t bring that stench in here.”

Horatio Caine: “So you cats don’t like the smell of flamingos? Is that because of the guilt you feel over what you did to the bird in the backyard? MURDERERS!”
Charlee: “No, it’s because we don’t want to get a contact stink off you. Then Mama will try to give us baths, just like Lulu is going to get a bath.”
Chaplin: “And what is this ‘guilt’ of which you speak?”

Lulu: “A bath? I don’t want a bath! I don’t need a bath! I have magic furs that never get dirty or stinky! Mama and Dada both say so!”
Chaplin: “You probably should have thought of that before you rolled around in … what did you say it was? Flamingo poop?”
Charlee: “Yeah, you might have magic furs, Lulu, but magic only gets you so far. You didn’t see Gandalf marching right up to Sauran and smacking him in the face.”

Lulu: “Aaaiiiieeee! Not a bath!”
Horatio Caine: “Lulu! Pull yourself together! This is a murder investigation! Things get dirty! And you didn’t see me freaking out over my bubble bath!”
Troll: “Technically, Sauron didn’t have a body by the events of ‘Lord of the Rings’, so Gandalf couldn’t have smacked him in the face and your analogy makes no sense.”
Producer Smurf: “Nice going, Charlee. Now the pedantic trolls have smurfed up.”
Charlee: “My bad.”
Mr. Nibbles: “Did I hear something about a bath? If that Horatio guy starts talking about a scrub brush, I suggest making yourself scarce.”
Chaplin: “I’m still having a good chuckle over his ‘the guilt you cats feel’ remark.”

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