Jurassic Can Opener

Chaplin: “Say, Blue, with those thumbs of yours, you’re able to operate a can opener, right?”
Mr. Nibbles: “I thought you told that friend of yours that you were going to put the tuna in a place of honor.”
Chaplin: “Our bellies are a place of honor.”

Blue: “Of course I can use a can opener, but usually I just pop cans open with my giant toenail.”
Charlee: “Ewww, that hardly seems sanitary.”

Vermin: “HISSS! Not sanitary?! I’ve seen you use your litter pan and then walk on the counter!”
Charlee: “Yes, but we don’t eat off the counter.”
Blue: “Well, you know, that’s what it evolved for. Opening cans.”
Mouse: “What do you mean, that’s what it evolved for? Are you suggesting that ancient velociraptors hunted canned food during the Cretaceous Period?”
Blue: “Yes. That’s why we have both thumbs and a giant claw: Thumbs to open the pull-tab cans, and the claw to pop open the regular kind.”

Mouse: “I see. And where were these pull-tab and regular-style cans coming from?”
Blue: “Well at first there was just the pull-tab kind, because no dinosaurs had thumbs so it didn’t matter. Then when some of us did develop thumbs, the cans evolved to have solid lids, and the thumbed dinosaurs mostly died out. But we velociraptors developed can opener claws, and now, here I am.”

Mouse: “Okay, none of that is the slightest bit accurate.”
Blue: “How do you know? Were you there?”
Vermin: “HISSS! Yeah, smarty-pants mouse! Where were you during the Cretinous Period?”
Chaplin: “Is somebody going to open these cans of tuna for us or not?”

8 thoughts on “Jurassic Can Opener

  1. Whilst THE Velociraptur an THE Rodentia discuss Hiss-tory if you bring THE tuna canss to us; wee will open them fore you! BellaSita has a GUUD solid can opener meant ‘just fore tuna’ fore guud kittiess….like us, Charlee an Chaplin…. 😉
    Mew mew mew BellaDharma
    Umm Blue can wee open a snack fore you two??? Sumthin purrhapss inn canned HAM?

    Like

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