You Can Tune A Piano, But …

Producer Smurf: “So you’re smurfing it’s not supposed to smurf the case that giant cans of tuna smurf around the countryside stomping things into the ground?”
Mouse: “Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying.”
Spicoli: “I don’t know, dude, I have trouble even imagining a world like that. What do the cans of tuna do there?”
Mouse: “They sit in the pantry waiting for someone to open them and eat them.”
Spicoli: “Pfft yeah right! Nobody has a pantry that big! Tell us another one, dude.”

Mouse: “Well, cans of tuna also aren’t supposed to be that big.”
Spicoli: “But, dude, just one giant can of tuna is enough to feed a community for like a year. If they were small, it would hardly be worth the effort to hunt them and bring them down.”
Mouse: “You aren’t supposed to hunt them. You’re supposed to just go buy them in the supermarket.”
Spicoli: “Good luck with that, dude! The giant cans of tuna hate supermarkets. Those are the first things they stomp when they come around.”
Mouse: “But there aren’t supposed to be giant cans of tuna stomping around! And therefore there are supposed to be supermarkets where you can buy small cans of tuna!”
Producer Smurf: “That’s a smurfy self-smurfing argument you have there. It all smurfs too convenient if you ask me!”

Vermin: “HISSS! You know that nasty girl cat caused this by leaving those cans of tuna behing when we were in the Cretinous Period just now!”
Mouse: “Yes, that seems likely. We’ll have to go back there and try to retrieve the cans before they have a chance to, uh …”
Blue: “Go on, say it!”
Mouse: “*SIGH* Before they have a chance to evolve. Or whatever.”
Blue: “Yes! Velociraptor one, mouse zero.”

Charlee: “Listen, do we really have to do that? Why can’t we just leave things the way they are? And maybe we could rig up, I don’t know, a giant trip wire around the house, and some piles of sharp rocks, and …”
Mouse: “So you’re willing to have the world be an apocalyptic wasteland of giant wandering tuna-mechs flattening civilization into the stone age just on the off chance that one might trip over a wire and break itself open on some rocks and give you fish to eat for a year?”
Charlee: “Duh, yeah, of course I am.”
Chaplin: “Uh-huh, me too.”
Lulu: “They do make an interesting point. Have there been any sightings of giant cans of chicken?”

11 thoughts on “You Can Tune A Piano, But …

  1. I hate to bust your bubble, but I don’t think they make cans of tuna that big, but if you break into a restaurant kitchen they may have a fairly big one.

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  2. We may need you to send one of those giant cans of tuna to us as Mom can’t find Dad’s favorite small cans:) we thibnk those cans are floating around somewhere out in the Pacific on those big container ships.

    Woos – Lightning, Misty, and Timber

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