Did You Read The Job Description?

Lulu: “What do you mean, there aren’t elves all over the conference room? Just look at them!”
Vermin: “HISSS! Those aren’t elves. They’re scientists.”
Green Elf #1: “Yeah, that’s right, we green elves are all on the mealworm genetic engineering task force!”
Red Elf #1: “And we red elves are also on the genetic engineering taskforce!”
Producer Smurf: “Where’d you smurf your hat?”
Green Elf #2: “Standard North Pole issue. Yours?”
Producer Smurf: “Tailor Smurf.”

Vermin: “HISSS! No no no, you’ve got it wrong! You green elves are in charge of breeding and you red elves are in charge of genetic engineering.”
Green Elf #1: “You mean you red elves have been genetically engineering the mealworms?”
Red Elf #1: “Of course. The boss told us to. Weren’t you paying attention?”
Green Elf #1: “I don’t know, I was drinking a lot of eggnog around then. But we’ve definitely been messing with mealworm genes.”
Mouse: “Sounds like your ‘scientists’ are a little bit confused as to what they’re supposed to be doing.”
Green Elf #2: “Ooh! You know Tailor Smurf? What’s she like?”
Producer Smurf: “Well for one thing he’s not a she.”
Green Elf #2: “Wow! How does he hit those high notes? Is he some sort of castrato?”
Producer Smurf: “What?”
Red Elf #2: “Hee hee hee! Your teeth tickle!”

Vermin: “HISSS! Wait … Are you saying you’ve actually been doing genetic engineering on the mealworms? All of you?”
Green Elf #1: “Well that’s what you said we should do.”
Vermin: “HISSS! I said you should say you were doing it, not that you actually should do it!”
Red Elf #1: “We’re over-achievers.”
Mr. Nibbles: “You may be thinking of Taylor Swift, friend elf scientist.”
Producer Smurf: “Ohhh, you mean Smurfette. Yeah she doesn’t make hats.”
Red Elf #2: “Hey wait a minute …”

Mouse: “Where did you elves get the equipment you needed to do this genetic engineering? Did you bring it from the North Pole?”
Green Elf #1: “Pffft, no! Santa guards that stuff like it’s made of chocolate chip cookies!”
Red Elf #1: “We used some stuff we found in a lab that said ‘Property of Trouble the Kitty’.”
Blue: “Well that hit the spot.”
Chaplin: “Did it taste like chicken?”
Blue: “Peppermint, mostly.”

Just then …

Giant Christmas Mealworm: “The other mealworms sent me in here to find out why our morning gingerbread gruel is late.”
Charlee: “Wow, it looks just like in the picture!”
Blue: “Somebody might have told me we had giant mealworms before I filled up on elves.”
Spicoli: “Dudes, we have got to put better locks on the door to Trouble’s lab.”

10 thoughts on “Did You Read The Job Description?

  1. Makes me glad I’ve never had a job tasked with breeding. It’s nice to see the mealworms dress up for Christmas. I can’t even be bothered with a cheesy jumper but they go all out with hats and booties.


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