Month: December 2021

On The First Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me Some Elves Who Decided To Flee

Vermin: “HISSS! Well aside from a few elves getting eaten, that meeting went pretty well! Everyone likes the design of the … Hey, where is all the equipment? And the rest of the elves?”
Christmas Mealworm: “Those two elves you put in charge fired all the other elves when they tried to unionize, then they loaded all the equipment into a big truck and drove off with it.”

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Have You Done Your Market Research?

Chaplin: “I thought they were going to be like normal mealworms, only festive.”
Charlee: “Honestly, a giant mealworm is a little bit … What’s the word I’m looking for … disturbing.”
Mealworm: “I’m standing right here and I can hear you. Ho ho ho! Sorry, I don’t know why I said that.”
Green Elf #1: “Bigger is better! And we can charge more for each one, so the profits will be huge!”
Lulu: “I think the market for four-foot-long Christmas mealworms is maybe not as big as the market for regular-sized mealworms.”
Vermin: “HISSS! You don’t know that! You haven’t done any studies! We still might sell some!”
Green Elf #2 (sotto voce): “So listen, do you think you could introduce me to Smurfette?”
Producer Smurf (sotto voce): “I’m not supposed to smurf within a hundred apples of her, so, no.”

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Did You Read The Job Description?

Lulu: “What do you mean, there aren’t elves all over the conference room? Just look at them!”
Vermin: “HISSS! Those aren’t elves. They’re scientists.”
Green Elf #1: “Yeah, that’s right, we green elves are all on the mealworm genetic engineering task force!”
Red Elf #1: “And we red elves are also on the genetic engineering taskforce!”
Producer Smurf: “Where’d you smurf your hat?”
Green Elf #2: “Standard North Pole issue. Yours?”
Producer Smurf: “Tailor Smurf.”

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Meeting Crashers

Charlee: “Do you remember when the mouse asked you if you had hired elves to make Santa hats and boots, and you said no?”
Vermin: “HISSS! Of course I remember! I’m not a goldfish!”

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It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas Mealworms

Vermin: “HISSS! So what will make the Christmas mealworms unique and let us charge a premium is that they’ll have a little Santa hat, beard, and boots.”
Spicoli: “Uhh, yeah, dude, that’s not horrifying at all.”

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