Lulu: “So, Java Bean, these are the cats. Remember, you met them in the conference room at the end of your interview?”
Java Bean: “Yes, of course. One of them is a boy and one of them is a girl but they both have beards so it’s hard to tell which is which.”
Chaplin: “A beard? As if. I have a soul patch, thank you very much.”
Chaplin: “And Charlee has a goatee. Beards. Pfft. We’re Hipsters, not ZZ Top.”
Lulu: “Charlee is the girl and she also has a moustache. Just use the mnemonic ‘fe-male mou-stache’, that should help.”
Java Bean: “I’m not sure that really helps since ‘male’ also starts with ‘m’ just like ‘moustache’.”
Lulu: “Oh the mnemonic goes by the number of syllables, not by the letters.”
Charlee: “Can’t you dogs figure out who is who just by using your vaunted sense of smell?”
Lulu: “Not really. All cats smell like aliens to us.”
Lulu: “Anyway, Java Bean, the thing to remember about these cats is that they will not play with you no matter how much you play bow to them.”
Chaplin: “Bowing to a cat is not a way of initiating play. It’s a form of worship. So we do encourage it.”
Charlee: “We won’t play with you, but we might smack you upside the head.”
Java Bean: “Noted. Will that smack upside the head be with or without claws?”
Charlee: “That depends on how much you annoy us.”
Lulu: “Wait, so you guys have claws?”
Charlee: “Uh, yeah. How do you think we climb straight up the cat pole?”
Lulu: “Velcro gloves.”
Chaplin: “We don’t have gloves. We have murder mittens.”
Java Bean: “I see that after my tour of the house is finished, I need to give you a tour of living on the street …”
The Oceanside Animals 
care full java….. catz bee livin life on de streetz two N all wayz sharez “tipz” with each other 😉
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Be careful Java they have CLAWS and they like to hurt doggie noses!!!
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The cats won’t hurt you Java, at least not too much!
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“Murder mittens”—That’s an absolutely fabulous term!
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My little Java Bean, be careful!
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Mew mew mew you tell them Murder Mitten Kittenss Jave Bean!!
Charlee an Chaplin pleese bee nice to Java Bean…life on THE meen streetss suckss an whther kay-nine or fee-line wee shuud be enice to street Kittyss an Poochiess…..
**nose bopss** BellaDharma an ***giggellss*** BellaSita Mum
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NAK is shaking her FT at those KHATS!
H&K&W,
Willow For NAK
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If cats have murder mittens than we’re glad we don’t have any in this house.
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Just keep bowing to the cats and all will be fine. XO
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Java Bean…if you are nice, maybe one or the other or if a miracle happens maybe both of those Hipster kitties might find you to be a nice warm pillow…but you’ll have to lie really really still…yup…as if!
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Sounds like Java Bean has street smarts. Mom says we’re more like Lulu, the protected and coddled, whatever that means. XOX Xena, Lucy, Chia and Riley
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Bwahahaha, murder mittens! that ‘pawfect!’
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That’s kinda nice that Lulu is so naïve! 😎
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Lulu: “Yeah, it’s because I’m such a good girl that I’ve never experienced cat claws!”
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