What Went Into That Dog: The Game Show, Java Bean Edition

Producer Smurf: “All right, let’s try to smurf ourselves together long enough to smurf some guesses as to what Bean’s genetic makeup is. First, let’s smurf from Vermin!”
Vermin: “HISSS! A nasty dog!”
Producer Smurf: “You smurfed the same guess for Lulu. Are you sure you don’t want to smurf a little more specific this time?”
Vermin: “HISSS! A nasty dog with asymmetrical ears!”
Producer Smurf: “The judges are smurfing me that ‘nasty with asymmetrical ears’ isn’t a breed, but they’ll allow it.”
Java Bean: “My ears are asymmetrical?”
Spicoli: “You know what would go well with that cake, dude?”
Blue: “No, what?”
Spicoli: “Coffee.”
Blue: “They had coffee in the room next door. I can go steal some.”
Chaplin: “I was sure he was going to say ‘Doritos’.”
Charlee: “So was I!”

Producer Smurf: “All right, Nedward, let’s smurf your guess as to what breeds Java Bean might smurf!”
Norman: “Well, I think … Wait, did you just call me ‘Nedward’?”
Producer Smurf: “Yes, aren’t all of you ninja hedgehogs called Nedward?”
Norman: “Norman. We’re all called Norman.”
Producer Smurf: “I think you’re a little bit smurfed, Needlemayer! My name is Producer Smurf, not Norman.”
Norman: “I’m not calling you Norman, I’m saying I’m called Norman.”
Producer Smurf: “Oh dear, you’ve smurfed out of time for your guess. So sorry!”
Java Bean: “My ears give me character!”
Mouse: “Since when do you drink coffee, Spicoli?”
Spicoli: “Since somebody left the Kahlua out on the counter, dude.”

Producer Smurf: “All right, let’s smurf what our poorly-sighted friend the gopher thinks Java Bean might smurf!”
Gopher: “I bought this bomb from The Village People and I’m not afraid to use it on any dogs that try to dig up my burrow!”
Producer Smurf: “I see! Well, the judges have informed me that threatening to blow up the dog counts as forfeiture of your guess. So sorry!”
Blue: “I’m back! The good news is I stole a coffee service off the gift table next door.”
Mr. Nibbles: “What’s the bad news?”

Blue: “The bad news is, that lady in the white dress followed me this time.”
The Bride: “I want my cake back.”
Norman #2: “Nobody move, this is a ninja hedgehog rai … ooh, who’s that?”
Producer Smurf: “This sort of thing never used to happen to Alex Trebek.”

Dada’s Note:

Our guesses for what went into making The Bean have included vizsla, whippet, dachshund, and Rhodesian Ridgeback. Feel free to take the poll or enter your own guesses in the comments, and the actual results of his testing will be revealed on Friday*, after which it will be our special guest Riley’s turn!

11 thoughts on “What Went Into That Dog: The Game Show, Java Bean Edition

  1. Are the Nedwards related to the Jedwards? And don’t worry about asymmetric ears, just ignore the mean insult, Bean. My eyes are a little wonky. We’ll be asymmetric together.

    Gopher needs cuffing pronto. Nobody says the B word these days without the po-lice being called.

    I answered the breed guessing but I actually thought you made up a few of the breeds. Guess I need to edumacate myself betterer on dogs! 😂 Definitely curious as to the answer!! I think Bean could be on a new TV show. In the UK, there are programs where people find out their history to see where they’re from and discover their heritage. There could be a dog version! xx


  2. Well, we missed every one of our breed guesses with Lulu, so we hope to do a bit better this time around. Java Bean, we think your ears are perfect just the way they are! Blue, are you really going to let that ninja bride steal your stolen cake? Producer Smurf, you sure picked some duds as contestants on your show. It seems rigged so no one can win, sort of like the breed guesses…hmm, how do you rig a dog’s DNA…. XOX Xena, Lucy and Chia. Pee Ess Riley is excited about getting a turn next week!


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