What Went Into That Dog: The Game Show, Riley Edition

Mouse: “Decided to stop ‘flying’ around stage, did you?”
Java Bean: “Well you know, hovering takes a lot of energy.”
Mouse: “Uh-huh.”
Producer Smurf: “All right, now that we’ve no longer got dogs smurfing around the stage on a string, it’s time to smurf our contestants’ guesses! Vermin, what breeds do you smurf went into Riley?”
Vermin: “HISSS! Scam! This whole show is a scam! There aren’t any prizes and I don’t think you really have any judges! So I refuse to make any more guesses until I see a prize, a judge, or both!”
Producer Smurf: “Sorry, our judges have smurfed that refusing to guess is a disqualifier. No prizes for you.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Because you don’t have any prizes!”
Charlee: “Game show contestants sure are unruly these days.”
Spicoli: “Could be worse, dude, we could be in an airport.”

Producer Smurf: “All right, let’s smurf on to our ninja hedgehog friend! Nathaniel, what is your guess as to what the breed results smurfed for Riley?”
Vermin: “HISSS! And don’t think you can silence me by covering me up with dialog balloons!”
Norman: “Norman. My name is Norman. We’re all Norman!”
Producer Smurf: “Ha ha ha! Are you smurfing a takeoff on Spartacus? That’s right, we’re all Spartacus! But I’m afraid that’s not a guess either.”
Lulu: “Here, Blue, I brought you some biscuits from the Green Room.”
Blue: “Finally! I was starting to think I would have to eat that gopher after the show.”
Lulu: “Well, nothing says we couldn’t still do that later.”

Producer Smurf: “Smurfing on, let’s smurf Mr. Gopher for his guess as to what Riley’s breed makeup might—”
Gopher: “I heard Lulu and that weird turkey talking about eating me! I’ll never let that happen!”

(EXPLOSION)
Producer Smurf: “AAAIIIIEEEE!”

Lulu: “Hmm, I guess we won’t be eating the gopher after all.”
Blue: “Why not? Blackened gopher, Cajun style!”
Producer Smurf: “So, um, Bob, do you smurf a guess as to Riley’s breed makeup, or … ?”
Bob the Pyromaniac Builder: “What? I can’t hear you over how AWESOME that explosion was! Boom!!!”
Charlee: “I didn’t think the gopher would actually use that bomb.”
Chaplin: “Well, you know, it had to go off at some point. Chekhov’s Bomb and all that.”
Spicoli: “Nah, dude, the gopher bought that bomb off Bob, not Chekhov. You might be thinking of ‘Star Trek’.”
Gopher (whispering): “You fellow rodents won’t tell the others I snuck off in all the confusion, right?”
Mr. Nibbles (whispering): “Of course not. You might want to consider using some body spray and breath mints, though. You smell like smoke and dandelions.”
Java Bean (whispering): “Why is everyone whispering? You know Supermutt can hear you with his super-hearing.”
Mouse (whispering): “You don’t have super-hearing, Bean, you just have regular dog hearing.”
Java Bean (whispering): “¡Es lo mismo!”
Lucy: “You know, we could have just stayed home and watched this on streaming.”
Xena: “What service would air this show? The whole thing has been kind of a fiasco.”
Chia: “Netflix would do it!”

Dada’s Note:

You can make your guesses as to Riley’s breed makeup in the poll below, and the actual results will be revealed on Friday!