The Cone Zone

Ambulance Chaser Smurf: “So you smurf it was your Mama who smurfed you in that neck brace?”
Java Bean: “Yes, because I wouldn’t stop licking my foot.”
Mouse: “You’re not really going to sue your Mama, are you, Bean?”
Java Bean: “I’m not really sure what suing Mama even means. I just thought it sounded fun to chase ambulances.”
Producer Smurf: “We’re not actually going to smurf after ambulances, Bean. You shouldn’t smurf everything so literally.”

Just then …

Charlee: “Hey, you guys have to come laugh at Chaplin! He’s in a cone and it’s the most pathetic thing since Bean being in a cone!”

Soon …

Ambulance Chaser Smurf: “So you say your Mama smurfed you in that cone?* I think we smurf a class action on our hands!”
Mouse: “So what’s in it for you, anyway, stirring up all this legal intrigue?”
Producer Smurf: “I smurfed the film rights. I’m going to call the movie ‘Erin Smurfovitch’.”

* Dada’s Note: Chaplin was wearing the cone for a little while to stop him from bothering his “personal area” when he was having some trouble urinating. After an immediate trip to the emergency vet, which determined he did not have a blockage ― his diagnosis is sterile cystitis ― he is on some medication, doing much better, and is out of the cone. (He would still appreciate purrs, tail wags, and POTP, of course.) But that doesn’t mean we’re not going to milk this for all it’s worth, too.

14 thoughts on “The Cone Zone

  1. I feel for ya, Chaplin. I’m in and outa cones all the time for licking the itchies from the flea bites, especially on my tummy. I’ve pretty much given up and accepted that itching is just a way of life, and I haven’t been in a cone since that. (Mommy is trying really hard to send ALL the fleas to H-E- double hocky sticks!) XOX Xena


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