Class(less) Action

Chaplin: “Hey, what’s Bean doing in this meeting?”
Ambulance Chaser Smurf: “He’s the other member of this class action.”

Chaplin: “What?! You’re putting me in a class with him?”
Ambulance Chaser Smurf: “Of course. You can’t smurf a class action with a class of one.”

Chaplin: “But he has no class! He’s a puppy! He chews the walls and eats poop!”
Ambulance Chaser Smurf: “A class action doesn’t smurf anything to do with that kind of class.”
Chaplin: “Obviously not!”
Java Bean: “Poop is just pre-processed food. And anyway, you eat cobwebs. So there.”
Mouse: “That’s probably not going to convince Chaplin you’re not uncouth, Bean.”

Chaplin: “I can’t believe I almost let you talk me into getting grouped in with a dog who isn’t Dennis. I’m going to go blow off some steam by bothering Charlee.”
Ambulance Chaser Smurf: “Hey! Smurf back here! We have legal strategy to discuss!”

Charlee: “DADA! CHAPLIN IS BEING A JERK TO ME AGAIN!”
Ambulance Chaser Smurf: “Well I guess we’ve smurfed back to just one plaintiff … Wait, what’s that smell?”
Java Bean: “I went and got a snack in the yard while you were in the kitchen talking to Chaplin.”
Ambulance Chaser Smurf: “That’s it, I simply cannot smurf under these conditions.”
Producer Smurf: “Something smurfs me I’m not going to smurf a movie out of this …”

Java Bean: “Well I guess now I need a new ambulance chaser.”
Mouse: “Or you could, you know, drop the whole idea.”
Vinny Gambini: “Did somebody say ‘ambulance chaser’?”

Soon …

Judge Haller: “Why are you here, Mr. Gambini? I understood this was going to be a class action brought by that smurf, and yet … Wait, what is that smell?”
Vinny Gambini: “What smell, Your Honor?”

Later …

Java Bean: “… and then the judge held Vinny in contempt and dismissed the whole case. Can you believe it? At least I got some grits.”
Charlee: “Yes, that sounds about right, actually.”
Lulu: “What is a grit? Is it some kind of biscuit?”

10 thoughts on “Class(less) Action

  1. When Cinnamon comes in, we have suspicious smells too. We have a ton of deer around (it is hunting season and they know the village is safe). Cinnamon is addicted to deer poop! This bugs Mom. Java Bean I bet you love poopsicles too! Thanks for coming and visiting! We have been away far too long! Keep being awesome! Purrs Captain Fishbait Magee (Marv)
    PS, Does Ambulance Chaser Smurf want to take on a class action against humans who are too “busy” to blog for their pets?

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  2. MJF was an avid deer doo-doo eater, roller in, too…eeuuwwwww!
    Yup…smelly indeed! MJF used to go for walks on a 26 foot leash, so he could run ahead and ‘get it’ before petcretary ‘saw it’.
    We only get to be snoopervised on our outside the fence strolls on 6 foot leashes…sigh…

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  3. Riley: Grits are like sand with butter and salt on it. We don’t know why anyone eats them.
    Chia: I try to eat poop when we go for walks in the dark and Mom can’t see what I’m doing, but she’s caught on and pulls me away at 1st sniff.
    Lucy: Sorry it didn’t work out, and no one wants to chase ambulances with you, Beanie.
    Chia: I’ll chase them with you, Beanie!
    Lucy:

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