dennis is my puppet

hello readers, this is tucker the canadian vizsla. i have a tip that might help you get more sleep in the morning while you’re waiting for breakfast. see, it used to be that when mommy was getting breakfast for us dogs, i would whine and carry on and bark and get underfoot and generally make a pest of myself. this doesn’t get me breakfast any faster but it makes sure mommy knows i’m really, really, really hungry. dennis watched me do this for a few weeks, and now he’s starting to do it himself. this means that i don’t have to pester mommy anymore; dennis does it for me, and i can sleep in, knowing that somebody is incessantly reminding mommy that we haven’t eaten yet. a perfect plan, isn’t it?

so if you have somebody who’s slow getting your breakfast in the morning, don’t pester them yourself; find a stooge to do it for you, and get yourself an extra fifteen minutes of snoozing. being a criminal mastermind is hard work and we need our sleep.

i will hug it and kiss it and name it george

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog i was hoping yoo can help me convins mama and dada not to get rid of the rat in the garaj i wood like to keep it as a pet if i wore clothes i wood carry it in my poket but since i am a vizsla dog all i have is a kollar and it duznt hav poketses but the rat can ride on my hed like in that movee ratatooeythe rat in that movee even new how to cook so maybe this one duz too we wont no until we let it in the kitchen but its worth a try

ennyway i wood like to have a littl frend to carry arownd and wen i get bord with it i cood eet it problem solvd dont you think???

You Dirty Rat

So tonight I saw the critter that’s moved into the garage in Pooh Bear’s absence … and it’s not a mouse.

It’s a roof rat.

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7 fakts abowt me by dennis the vizsla dog

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog i got taggd by my frends at 4urpets so that meens im supposed to tell yoo seven fakts yoo dont know abowt me so heer goes ok

one i am afrayd of kitchen noises and bark at dada wen he is cooking or emptying the dishwasher or putting pots and pans away i dont know why but i just kant help it and ennyway hes reely noizy when hes in there

too i like to go owtside and sit behind the shiff … shiffl … the big leefy tree arownd by the bak corner of the howse but there are beez there now and mama wont let me go neer them i dont know why i cant play with those beez when i play with the ones i got for krismas

three it reely was me hoo tore up the chase lounj dont tell ennybody ok?

for i have scars all over most from before i kame to my new howse but one on my noze i got when i busted out of the metal krate

five my feet look like they belong on a rabbit

six mama and dada sumtimes call me “abe frohman the sausage king of chicago” for reezons i dont reely understand

seven i dont like to go owt in the car unless my brudder tucker the other vizsla dog comes along with me otherwise im nervous

well those are sum fakts about me i have to go lik whats left of myself now ok bye

Meeses

Well, now that Pooh Bear is gone, it didn’t take the mice long to move into the garage; this morning I found a half-eaten bag of oatmeal in the pantry out there. The mouse that ate it is going to be extremely regular for quite a while.

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skunkalishus

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog

tonite i fownd owt we hav skunks in the nayborhud, isnt that grate??? i wuz owtside with my sister trixie the chow shepherd mix wen she took off running for the fens and the next thing i knew the air wuz full of the most punjent aroma i ever smeld and wen she came bak the smell wuz all over her if i had been walking along and i fownd sumthing that smeld like her i wood hav rolld arownd in it for shure

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loot

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog well this krismas thing seems to be pretty ok at furst i wasnt sure why mama was giving me peeces of paper but then i saw my brudder tucker the other vizsla dog ripping the paper up and it turned out there were stuft toys inside so well if theres wun thing i know how to do its tear stuf up so i started ripping up the paper and I found a big bee hive full of bees inside not the kind that sting they were soft and skweeky so i carried the hive around for a wile becuz i was so prowd of myself for unrapping it

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Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas from Dennis, Tucker, Trixie, Trouble, 30-odd fish, and, of course, the two humans in the house.

Books and stories make great Christmas gifts. Give the gift of reading next year! 😉

Dennis, Making Promises He Can’t Keep

Look, Geppetto, I’m A Real Live Vizsla

A couple of comments have asked about Dennis’s mange, and so I wanted to get a picture to show how nicely his fur is growing in. Unfortunately Dennis has decided he’s afraid of cameras. If he’s doing something cute and you even start to think about getting the camera, he detects this and flees like a drunken starlet in her Mercedes SUV on the run from the paparazzi.

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thoze wernt noodels

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog

wel im bak from the vetnameez place and ther wernt enny noodels there insted mama left me with theez stranj peeple and a man in a wite kote and they put me in a krate for a while so wen they let me owt i tried to run away but i wuznt looking where i wuz going and i krashed hed first into a wall of kages and almost nocked myself owt so they kawt me agin but then they gave me sum stuff and it made me reel sleepy so i tuk a nice long nap and dreemed abowt taking the skweekers owt of toyz it wuz a nice dreem

mama kame and got me after i woke up and i was so happy to see her i gave her hugz and puppy nibbelz and i kept giving the man in the wite kote durty luks so he wood know hooz dog i reely wuz and it must hav wurked becuz they let me go home with her she had to giv them munny first tho i gess it wuz ransom or sumthing

ennyway i didnt get enny noodels but now im home nun the wurse off altho tucker the other vizsla dog keeps snikering at me i dont know why well its time to go i have to lik myself now ok bye

……….. eeeeeeyaaaaah, where did they go?!?!?!?!?!???!? sumbody de-skweeked me!!!!

Canyon? What Canyon?

I don’t remember any canyon

“Zzzzzzzz ….”

im going owt for noodels this week

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog i herd mama and dada saying that this week they were taking me to the vetnamese res … rest … place to get noodels i never had vetnamese noodels but i like to eet most ennything so it will probly be gud rite?

i asked my brudder tucker abowt it an he sed yeah your getting noodels at the vetnamese place they took me owt for noodels wunce too let me no if yoo like them so then i asked my sister trixie and she jus shuk her hed and sed its pronownsd nootered lik em wile yoo got em becuz yoo wont have em much longer i gess she duznt know how to say noodels anyway i gess she meens lik the noodels they must hav sawce on them or sumthing!!!!

ennyway i am glad they ar taking me owt for dinner i didnt think most res … restaw … food places wood let dogs in not even vizslas i wil let yoo all no how the noodels tast ok i got to go lik myself so by for now

The Dog Exploded …

… and he was full of fluff! (Or possibly he was dealing cocaine out of his crate. Hmm, that might explain a lot, actually …)

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