Greatest Hits

So Dennis and Trixie had a good chase around the back yard yesterday, with Tucker getting into the act a little. NOTE: Make sure you have the sound turned up for this one. There’s a big thud partway through that you have to hear to appreciate.

Whoa!!!! What happened there at 10 seconds? Let’s go to Johnny in the instant replay booth for the lowdown!

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their gawn

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog well today grammy grampy and auntie left to go bak to the mithical land of noo york it terns owt they wer all prety nice even tho they did put me in my krate a fyoo times they also playd fetch with me and made yummy food in the kitchin it seems yoo can mayk food from ingreedyents insted of from a boks from the freezr hoo new? ennyway they sed they will be bak nekst yeer so i gess i will be seeing them agin i think thatll be gud ok bye

my siks wurd memwar by dennis the vizsla dog

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog as yoo may no 4urpets tagd me to put up my siks wurd memwar i havnt ben heer in this howse with mama and dada all that long and i try not to think too much abowt whut happend to me befor i came heer but ennyway theeze are sum things to describe me ok bye

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poor trouble

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog this is just a kwik note to let yoo no that trouble the kitty is bak at the vetnamese she hasnt been acting rite the last few days she let me sniff her agin which was fun but weerd the nice vetnamese lady did bludwurk on trouble and it turns owt her “bun” is high its not the kind of bun yoo can eet either and her cre … creat … “creatinine” has tripled since a kuple weeks ago she mite be dehidrated or she mite be having kidney problems so lets all hope sum flooids and laksative will help her feel better and come home agin she is cranky but i like her she smells like tuna

also i want to retrakt my comment about auntie beeing shifty she is akchooally the nice wun she stayd home with me today to play fetch and giv me a lap wile mama and dada wurk and grammy and grampy go to the mithical town of ramona to luk at sumthing calld “sterreo vyoos” at the antike stor i gess yoo luk thru speshal lenzes and see a pickhoor in 3d persunally id rather hav scratchandsniff “smelly-o vyoos” but maybe thats just me ennyway it turns out grammy and grampy are the shifty wuns they put me in my krate yesturday wen they went owt wile mama and dada wer gone i hope auntie stays a wile longer so i kan play with her insted of going in my krate sownds like a plan doesnt it ok bye

well hello mr fancypants

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay gess whut i herd mama and dada tawking with there howsegests abowt tucker and it turns out tucker isnt even his reel name his reel name is adrians velvet charmer and not only that he wuz wunce on the bak cover of a vizsla magazine i fownd this pikcher on dadas hard drive its not verry kleer but im pretty shoor its him

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Mr. Green Feets

So here’s a shot of Dennis relaxing on the chaise lounge (pre-repair) after a long day of doing doggie things. The astute observer will notice that the bottoms of his feet are a lovely shade of green. Can you guess why? Take the quiz!

A) Dennis’s transformation from his alter ego, “The Incredible Hulk”, remains incomplete.
B) Dennis’s St. Patrick’s Day makeup hasn’t fully worn off yet
C) Dennis is a punk rocker
D) Dennis has worn himself out playing fetch on newly-mown grass in the back yard
E) Dennis is a leprechaun
F) Dennis is half alien (think Burt’s baby on Soap)
G) He’s been standing in Green Stuff
H) All of the above

Get Off My Lawn!

the chase lounj strikes bak

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay i dont no wot happend but suddnly the chase lounj has been fiksed it has a noo pillo on it that is almost just like the wun that i um i meen that i cawt the gofers from the yard taring up i dont no how this happend but hmm i did see mama give auntie sum fabrik that lukked like this and then auntie tuk all the old stufing that i um i meen that the gofers pulld out and then auntie was runing the sowing mashine in her room hmm wot can this meen???

hang on i hav to lik myself i always think better wen i do that

hay i think auntie made the pillo i noo she was up to sumthing!!!

yoo may have wun this rownd, chase lounj, but we will see hoo laffs last!

im not scared

by the way its not troo that im scared of ninja hedjhogs i wasnt looking for them wen i was looking at the seeling i was wundring when dada wuz going to kleen up all the kobwebs ha ha ok bye

home alone

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog last nite mama and dada went owt to a place calld the arther murry stoodyo for dans lessens they go there evry week and yoosully i go in my krate well this time i didnt go in my krate insted those three howsgests grammy grampy and auntie stayd home with me it was verry verry weerd beeing home withowt mama and dada arownd i didnt no what to do so first i wood bark at auntie then i wood wine then i wood pase arownd the living room and wine sum mor then i wood go to the windo to look for there kar then i wood bark at auntie again becuz i wuz pretty shoor it was her fawlt mama and dada wernt home finally mama and dada came bak and reskewed me and i wuz happy agin i thawt maybe auntie had disposd of them sumhow but i wuz wrong ………. for now

i gess it was gud to be owt of my krate with grammy grampy and auntie they arnt so bad they play fetch with me and giv me treets and the kitchn smells yummi when they are working in it but stil i wood rather hav mama and dada home with me these other peepel seem a little shifty espeshly that socalled auntie we will see if they are reely as nice as evryone sez they are ok bye

Ninja Hedgehogs!!!

“Aieeee, they’re crawling all over the ceiling!”

im falsly acused (again)

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog thank yoo goodbear for seeing thru that hedjhogs reediclus story it didnt happn that way at all first wen we were at the store the hedjhog praktickly begd me to take him home he jumpd off the rack rite into my mowth so of kors we tuk him sekond wuns we got him home it turnd owt he was a ninja hedjhog sent to get me in trubble wile mamas bak was turnd he took owt this littel tiny ninja sord and started poking holes in the sofa pillos well i didnt want to get blamed for that since i still get blamed for wut happend to the chayse lounj even tho it was the gofers from the yard hoo did it so i tried to stop him but hes a ninja and reely fast and sneeky i had to persoo him all arownd the howse and owt into the yard and bak into the howse and finally he got tired becuz not even a ninja has mor enerjy than a vizsla and i was able to katch him then ther was a terrifik fite wich i wun and that is the troo story of how the hedjhog lost his nose i dont no and never herd of the toy liberation front i think the hedjhog is making them up ennyway he wasnt reskewed mama thru him in the trash and he probly sneeked away before the garbaj man picked him up ok bye

ps hey duz ennybody no how to yooze a tiny ninja sord to pik the lok on a krate?

Kiddapped & Eddadgered

Heddo, by dame is Normad add I ab a hedgehog. Dot long ago I lived id de pet store wid by 14 idedtical twids add a whole budch of odder squeaky toys. Den a lady kiddapped be frob the store. It was ad idside job; de lady paid sobe bodey to de store before she took be away. Den she gave be to a little red dog dat she called Deddis. Little did I dow it but I was about to edter de uddergroudd world of dog squeak toy exploitatiod.

At first Deddis seebed like a dice doggy. He carried me around and squeaked my hodker like a good boy. But it wasd’t long before he turned mead. He bit by dose off (dat’s why I talk like dis dow) ad as you cad see in dese shocking photos, he dearly pulled by squeaker all de way out drough de opeding. Have you ever seed such cruelty? If I hadd’t beed rescued by de Toy Liberatiod Frodt I would’dt be here to tell you by story. As it is, dey say I will need years of recodstructive surgery, add by squeaker will probably dever work agaid.

I can odly hope sobbody idvestigates this so it doesn’t happed to ady odder squeak toy ever agaid. De evil Deddis add de lady who keeps hib supplied wid toys bust be brought to justice. Where is de FBI whed you deed dem?

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