My Birdyguard

Lulu: “So phase one of your plan is to stack the toupees in a little pyramid?”
Mouse: “Well, that’s just to get them out of Spicoli’s van, since he apparently has urgent business to attend to.”
Spicoli: “That’s right, dude. Time is money, and money is Doritos, therefore time is Doritos.”
Chaplin: “Since when does a lizard hire a giant bird as a bodyguard?”
Lizard: “Since I made a fortune in SmurfCoin, that’s when! Go on, Blue, beat up this mean cat for me!”
Blue: “Okay, but first I’m going to need you to smurf another 0.00230123 SmurfCoin to my SmurfCoin wallet.”
Lizard: “*SIGH* Fine. Cat, can you wait around for the transfer to finish so that Blue over there can beat you up afterwards?”
Chaplin: “Uh, sure, I guess.”

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D-Mobile

Lulu: “I didn’t know you had an RV. How come we never take it on vacation?”
Mouse: “It’s not an RV, it’s a mobile lab. I borrowed it from my contacts in the government.”
Charlee: “You have contacts in the government?”
Mouse: “Of course. I’m from NIMH, remember?”
Lizard: “Help! Help!”

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Overheard Around The Back Yard

Mouse: “Why did you guys want to talk to me out here instead of calling a meeting in the conference room?”
Lulu: “We’re concerned that it may become overrun by replicating toupees. Also, we don’t know how to use the calendar program to reserve time in the conference room.”
Mouse: “Well if you ever attended any of my in-services, then you would learn how to … wait, what was that about toupees?”

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Lulu’s Life Tips: Managing Your Coworkers, Part 3

Hello friendlies! Lulu here, with my third and final segment on managing your coworkers! Now just to recap, in my first segment I showed you how to pry your coworker out of their chair by woofing at them, and in my second segment I showed you how to manage your playing—I mean, working—environment by maneuvering them into the correct location to engage in break time activities. In my third segment, I address the question: Couldn’t you and your coworker use a little fresh air right now?

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Observed Around the Board Room

Mouse: “First, I’d like to thank everyone for coming to this in-service …”
Producer Smurf: “Why are you thanking us? The memo you smurfed out smurfed attendance was mandatory.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Why do I have to be at this stupid meeting? I was barely involved in all this nonsense!”

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