Mr. Nibbles: “Thanks for asking me to handle these negotiations. Let’s start by setting expectations. Lo Pan, what would you like to get out of these discussions?”
Lo Pan: “I would like to get these cats off my head.”
Mr. Nibbles: “Well, that’s something we can―”
Lo Pan: “Also to marry a girl with green eyes.”
Mr. Nibbles: “I don’t think we can provide match making services―”
Lo Pan: “And to have my revenge on Jack Burton and Dennis the Vizsla! Hee hee hee!”
Mr. Nibbles: “I’m pretty sure Dennis isn’t going to agree to that last one. Also, who’s Jack Burton?”
Jack Burton: “Jack Burton. Me.”
Dennis: “Hey, Jack. Long time no see.”
Jack Burton: “‘Sup, Dennis.”
Continue reading “Lo Panning Negotiations” →
Lo Pan: “So your names are Miss Charlie and Mr. Chaplin? I am ever so pleased to meet you.”
Charlee: “Look how tall that person is, Chaplin.”
Chaplin: “He’s very tall.”
Continue reading “Hi Pan” →
Spicoli: “Dude, did you steal your Dada’s phone again?”
Dennis: “I never steal Dada’s phone. It’s just that sometimes people leave important messages on it for me and he never passes them along.”
Mouse: “Fake calls from the IRS threatening lawsuits or from people overseas claiming they’ll give you money in exchange for your bacnk account number don’t constitute ‘important messages’, Dennis.”
Dennis: “Sure sure. I’ve learned my lesson about those. But this one isn’t like that. Check it out!”
(Note: This is an actual voice mail from Dada’s phone)
Continue reading “The Consulate of China” →
hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay wel as yoo hav probly noted i do not yoozhually partayk of theem thursday however my noo frend shakira of justmeshakira let me no that this weeks theem wuz hats and wel hats!!! yoo no me and hats!!! so i wood like to preezent a retrospektiv of me and my hats thru the last kuple of yeerz!!! most of theez ar frum my satterday matinay eevents so i hav inklooded konveenyent links to them for those hoo may hav missd them!!!
Continue reading “theem thursday hats and clip show!!!” →
Having fought our way free of the Three Storms, Jack Burton and I now face Lo Pan himself. Can we prevail against this 2,000 year old evil sorcerer and his intimidating hat? If not, it won’t be because we didn’t try!
Continue reading “Still More Trouble In Little China” →
While Lo Pan’s minions pillage Little China, I am losing valuable time trying to restore Jack Burton’s confidence with another “magic” potion. He has already rejected the magical powers of Yoohoo, but fortunately, I have a few more options under my hat. Surely one of them will do the trick … but unfortunately, when in nerd form, Jack is very fussy.
Continue reading “Everybody Wing Kong Tonight” →
Having received a magic potion from the ancient magician Egg Shen, we are preparing to seek out Lo Pan and end his reign of terror. In addition to the potion, Egg Shen also offers to supply us with a frightening array of weaponry. Surely when confronted with such an arsenal, Lo Pan will surrender without a fight!
Continue reading “Even Bigger Trouble In Little China” →
Having performed beyond expectations in my investigation of that creepy kid who claimed to see dead people, I have impressed Dr. Crowe enough to get another assignment. This one is more in my area of expertise, an anthropological study of clan rivalries in a community of largely Asian immigrants; or, as Dr. Crowe indelicately puts it, big trouble in Little China.
Continue reading “Big Trouble For Little Vizsla” →