Classic Dennis: The War on Santa

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Charlee: “So what happens when we get to the top?”
Mr. Nibbles: “We stand on some boards and slide back to the bottom.”
Chaplin: “But highest cat wins. So once we get to the top, why wouldn’t we stay there?”
Mouse: “Gravity.”
Vermin: “HISS! You’re all going the wrong way!”
Spicoli: “You saw Santa back there too, right, dude?”
Lulu: “Of course.”
Spicoli: “Okay, just checking.”
Producer Smurf: “Have you smurfed any dogs or cats or field mice or guinea pigs or opossums around here today?”

As has become a holiday tradition around here, this Christmas I am re-running one of Dennis’s classic adventures, when he, Tucker, and Trouble resorted to extreme measures in an attempt to get off the “Naughty” list. As usual, nothing went as planned … Continue reading “Classic Dennis: The War on Santa”

You Must Ask The Right Questions

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Spicoli: “So what have you been up to lately, dude?”
Producer Smurf: “Why are you smurfing me that question? You smurf what I’ve been up to. You’ve been smurfing around Norway with me.”
Bugs Bunny: “Oh you know, doc, the usual. Humiliating Elmer Fudd, thwarting aliens, getting locked up. You?”
Spicoli: “Snacking.”
Chaplin: “I have a question for you, Troll Wizard.”
Troll Wizard: “Shoot.”

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I Think We All Learned Something Today

Lulu: “Well I think I understand the main difference between trolls and cats now.”
Spicoli: “And what is it, dude?”
Lulu: “People keep cats as pets.”
Pineapple: “Ahhhh! You crazy cat! Stop smurfing on my foliage!” Continue reading “I Think We All Learned Something Today”

Classic Dennis: The War on Santa

Christmas_2019 Online

This Christmas I’m re-running one of Dennis’s classic adventures, when he, Tucker, and Trouble resorted to extreme measures in an attempt to get off the “Naughty” list. Needless to say, nothing went as Dennis planned … Continue reading “Classic Dennis: The War on Santa”

In Memoriam

Mr. Nibbles: “You look like you have a question, friend Hipsters.”
Chaplin: “We don’t understand why we’re having a party for Dennis but he isn’t here for it.”
Spicoli: “Oh, little dudes, this isn’t a party. It’s a memorial service. And that’s how memorial services work. You know, just like the ones for Trouble and Tucker and Trixie.”

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Lo Pan And Shut Case

Bugs Bunny: “I’m pretty  impressed that you managed to wriggle out of that tiny tunnel opening, Doc. How’d you do it?”
Jack Burton: “Nothing to it. I just greased it up with pomade and slipped right out.”
Vermin: “HISSS! I seem to be stuck in the tunnel entrance.”
Jack Burton: “Of course, once the pomade sets up, it’s like cement.”
Lo Pan: “Now, while their backs are turned, I will destroy them!”

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Lo Pan Range


Bugs Bunny: “So you say you got set up by this Lo Pan, eh? I don’t know that guy. I usually have to put up with jokers like Elmer Fudd or Yosemite Sam. Is this Lo Pan like either of those maroons?”
Dennis: “Yep, he’s exactly like them. Except taller. And with magical powers. And a criminal empire. And, uh, legitimately dangerous.”
Producer Smurf: “I think what Dennis is smurfing to smurf is that Lo Pan smurfs nothing like those smurfs.”
Bugs Bunny: “Yeah, no kidding, Doc! He sounds more like yours truly!”
Spicoli: “The worst part of this whole thing was watching Lo Pan eat all our pork chops after we got arrested.”
Jack Burton: “You mean my pork chops.”
Spicoli: “Dude. Not the time to nitpick.”

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The Pork Chop Express

Mr. Nibbles: “All right, so I think we’ve arrived at a solution that everyone can live with. First, Lo Pan will go stand by the cat tree so the Hipsters can jump from his head to the tree without any loss of altitude.”
Charlee: “Agreed.”

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The Naughty List

It is of course common knowledge that Dennis the Vizsla is permanently on the “Naughty” list. But what some of Dennis’s newer nice readers may not be aware of is exactly how he got on the “Naughty” list in the first place, way back in the mythical year 2009. Well, it’s a long story. And as so many long stories do where someone ends up on the “Naughty” list, this one starts with spiked eggnog …

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Overheard Around The Dungeon In The American Embassy

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Bugs Bunny: “So what are you in for this time, Doc?”
Dennis: “Well I accidentally smuggled a box of uninspected meat and a crate containing some sort of alien monster into the country.”

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It’s A Blast

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Dennis: “I don’t see why my box of meat has to be in the blast chamber. It’s just meat.”
Ambassador: “Bob said so and Bob is the expert.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Stupid big dog! Why are you complaining? If the crate has a bomb in it and the bomb goes off, we’ll have instant barbecue!”
Dennis: “Oooh, you’re right! Blow it up, Bob!”
Bob the Pyromaniac Builder: “All right, I’m going to open the crate!”

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