Tag: Cats

Classic Dennis: The War on Santa

As has become a holiday tradition around here, this Christmas I am re-running one of Dennis’s classic adventures, when he, Tucker, and Trouble resorted to extreme measures in an attempt to get off the “Naughty” list, while Trixie tried to keep everything from going off the rails. As usual, nothing went as planned … Continue reading “Classic Dennis: The War on Santa” →

Lulu’s Life Tips: Sometimes You Just Can’t Decide What You Want To Do (And That’s Okay)

Hello friendlies! Lulu here, with another life tip! This is a simple one: Sometimes you just can’t decide what you want to do, and that’s okay. This especially happens when you have too many choices, like when Mama falls asleep ten minutes into something they’re watching together and so Dada has to stop it but then he has to figure out which zombie movie or superhero movie or science fiction movie or horror movie or action movie or maybe an episode of “Battlebots” to watch but he has to make sure it’s not one Mama might actually want to see and so he ends up watching nothing. Or something along those lines. For me, it’s more like when there are so many interesting things to smell or dig up out in the yard that I can’t settle on just one. Check it out!

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Have You Done Your Market Research?

Chaplin: “I thought they were going to be like normal mealworms, only festive.”
Charlee: “Honestly, a giant mealworm is a little bit … What’s the word I’m looking for … disturbing.”
Mealworm: “I’m standing right here and I can hear you. Ho ho ho! Sorry, I don’t know why I said that.”
Green Elf #1: “Bigger is better! And we can charge more for each one, so the profits will be huge!”
Lulu: “I think the market for four-foot-long Christmas mealworms is maybe not as big as the market for regular-sized mealworms.”
Vermin: “HISSS! You don’t know that! You haven’t done any studies! We still might sell some!”
Green Elf #2 (sotto voce): “So listen, do you think you could introduce me to Smurfette?”
Producer Smurf (sotto voce): “I’m not supposed to smurf within a hundred apples of her, so, no.”

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Did You Read The Job Description?

Lulu: “What do you mean, there aren’t elves all over the conference room? Just look at them!”
Vermin: “HISSS! Those aren’t elves. They’re scientists.”
Green Elf #1: “Yeah, that’s right, we green elves are all on the mealworm genetic engineering task force!”
Red Elf #1: “And we red elves are also on the genetic engineering taskforce!”
Producer Smurf: “Where’d you smurf your hat?”
Green Elf #2: “Standard North Pole issue. Yours?”
Producer Smurf: “Tailor Smurf.”

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Meeting Crashers

Charlee: “Do you remember when the mouse asked you if you had hired elves to make Santa hats and boots, and you said no?”
Vermin: “HISSS! Of course I remember! I’m not a goldfish!”

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