Chaplin: “This is ridiculous. There’s nothing in that safe that concerns the FBI.”
Agent McFold: “We’ll determine that at the Feline Bureau of Investigation headquarters, away from prying red panda eyes.”
Bob the Pyromaniac Builder: “Can’t I just blow it up out here?”
Agent McFold: “No, Bob. I called in special feline transport to pick it up.”
Tag: Cats
The Shape of Things to Come
Charlee: “This seems a tad excessive.”
Bob the Pyromaniac Builder: “I only use the absolute minimum amount of dynamite required.”
Agent McFold: “Don’t worry. The shaped charges are designed to only open the safe and cause no other damage. Right, Bob?”
Bob the Pyromaniac Builder: “That’s absolutely right!”
Chaplin: “They don’t seem shaped so much as just kind of piled up.”
Bob the Pyromaniac Builder: “‘Just kinda piled up’ is totally a shape!”
Bad Tradecraft
Lulu: “I think Mama might have a bamboo plant on the bathroom. Are you a bamboo aficionado?”
Red Panda: “Yes, very much so.”
Agent Frenchie: “That was quick thinking covering up the papers with your own body, Agent Blaze.”
Agent Blaze: “Paint me like one of your French bulldogs, Jack.”
Agent Frenchie: “Stop saying that. It’s disturbing.”
Charlee: “You do realize none of that paperwork is anything secret, right?”
Agent McFold: “What?! You read it?”
Charlee: “No, I just know all the important papers are in the safe in the office.”
Agent McFold: “A safe, you say … ?”
Caturday Matinee: Spectator Sports
The Wrap-Up Report
Agent Frenchie: “So here are the papers we found in your Mama’s office. As you can see, they’re not properly chewed to pieces.”
Charlee: “They’re kind of chewed up a little bit though.”
Chaplin: “We cats did that. We get extra points or something, right?”
Agent McFold: “Extra points? Do you think this is Hogwarts? Also, yes, for being cats.”
The Great Escape
Java Bean: “Now what are you watching?”
Lulu: “A red panda escaped from its enclosure down at the zoo, but they got it back pretty quickly.”
The Paper Chase
Agent McFold: “Agent Inky, report.”
Agent Inky: “I searched the whole house, top to bottom. I found papers scattered everywhere on the floor in the office.”
Agent McFold: “Well, that sounds like everything is in good order then.”
Chaplin: “Of course it does. We’re professionals around here.”
Caturday Matinee: Dada’s A Lumberjack And He’s Okay, I Sit In His Lap And Give Him Hugs All Day
Search Pawty
Agent McFold: “All right, Agent Inky, you go search the house for mishandled documents and report back. Meanwhile, somebody fetch me one of those Tiki Cat pouches I’ve been hearing about.”
Agent Inky: “On it, boss!”
Secret Agent Cats
Chaplin: “What’s going on? Did Mama and Dada adopt more cats without consulting me?”
Java Bean: “No, this is Agent McFold and his sidekick, Agent Inky.”
Agent Inky: “I’m not a sidekick! I’m a trainee!”
This Is An Intervention
Chaplin: “Bean, we need to talk to you about your habit of sleeping on the window sill.”
Java Bean: “What about it? You cats do it all the time.”
Charlee: “Yeah, but we’re cats. We’re supposed to sleep on window sills. Dogs sleep on the sofa.”
Lulu: “Or on the floor!”
Chaplin: “Yes, or on the floor, like the barbarians you are.”
Caturday Matinee: Alien: Naptime
Cataloging
Lulu: “I don’t understand why it’s so hard to keep track of important documents.”
Continue reading “Cataloging”