As you all know by now, I wear many hats besides my fedora — I am an archaeologist, an educator, an entrepreneur, an advisor. But one role that may have been overlooked as I’ve spun my tales of adventure is my position in charge of maintaining decorum among the fraternities here at the university. Because I’ve spent so much time away from campus lately, either in outer space, on other planets, or in the distant past, some of the houses in the Greek system have gotten a little bit out of control. In particular I’ve had reports of problems with Delta House. Now that I am back and the time-space continuum is no longer in danger of collapse, I can finally deal with these issues. Compared to the Kongleks, this should be a piece of cake. Mmmmm, cake.