The Rice Pirates

Having spent the last several hours crawling through filthy ventilation systems with John McClane has finally paid off, as we have reached a vent that will give us access to the main hangar of the Spud Star, where our ship, the Orca, is sits unguarded. Darth Tater has deployed all of his Spudtroopers to the other decks, never considering that we might be planning to steal aboard our vessel and escape; he knows me too well to think I would ever abandon the rest of the crew, who are his prisoners. But he has not reckoned on John McClane, who considers our teammates hippies, and has no compunction about ruthlessly abandoning them to make our getaway. Little do we know that out there in the coldness of space, closer than we could imagine, there lurks a ship carrying men who are more desperate, hungry, and ruthless than John McClane, Tucker, and Darth Tater put together …

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Revenge of the Pup-I

While trying to escape from the prison section of the Death Spud, Trixie, Tucker, and I accidentally crossed paths with our evil captor Potato Puff Tarkin and his even more evil henchman Darth Tater, formerly captain of the Space Spud. With Spudtroopers coming up the hallway behind us, there seems to be no way to escape, unless we can work a miracle …

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The Tater Strikes Back

As I ended my last dispatch, I was trapped in the trash compactor with my colleagues Tucker and Trixie aboard the vast space station, known as the Death Spud, that I had originally mistaken for a moon. Although our position is precarious, it seems that we are momentarily safe — at least, until the walls start moving …

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Kong Wars

Now that my shuttle has passed through the wormhole, I find myself in a galaxy far, far away. Now that I am closer to it, the enormous object that I took for a moon has proved to be an enormous space station, the likes of which I have never seen before. I can only hope that those who operate it are friendly, because now, they know I am here …

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The Final Frontier

With the trouble with taters resolved, the Enterprise has been making good time toward the distant space station that sits at the edge of a dangerous wormhole. Now that we are out of danger, the crew has begun to relax, even though we are approaching the outer limits of explored space. I hope that this is not the wrong time for us to let down our guard, here at the final frontier.

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