Die Hard With Opossum

die_hard_with_opossum

Norman #1: “I disabled the wi-fi Norman.”
Norman #2:”Good work, Norman.”
Ron Burgundy: “This situation has gotten very, very serious.”
Producer Smurf: “No smurfing, really?”
Ron Burgundy: “Yes. I can’t post to Instagram or Twitter or live-stream to Facebook.”
Mouse: “Say, who’s the new ninja hedgehog?”
Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “That’s Norman. He has a cannon on his head.”
Mouse: “Really? Are you sure he didn’t just get his face stuck in a toilet paper roll?”
Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “Silence!”
Opossum (thinking from inside air shaft): “HISSS! Come to the coast, there’ll be a debate, we’ll have a few laughs …”

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Dog Hard

Having unexpectedly encountered my old and long-presumed-deep-fried nemesis, Darth Tater, our spaceship has found itself surrounded by superior forces, cut off from outside assistance, and about to be boarded. It looks like I will spend the rest of my days as a prisoner of Darth Tater, perhaps an exhibit in his petting zoo; but as the rest of the crew files out on deck to be clapped in chains, Harry Stamper grabs my collar and pulls me into one of the air ducts. Crazy at it seems, he thinks we have a chance against Tater and his minions. Even crazier, he tells me to start calling him John McClane.

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