Tag: elections

Secret Agent Marsupial

Secret Service Agent #1: “Okay, Vermin, here’s the deal. You help us defuse the hostage situation, and we’ll give you the mealworms that the ninja hedgehog terrorists think we’re giving them.” Opossum: “HISSSS! Now you’re talking! But stop calling me Vermin!” Secret Service Agent #2:…

Die Hard With Opossum

Norman #1: “I disabled the wi-fi Norman.” Norman #2:”Good work, Norman.” Ron Burgundy: “This situation has gotten very, very serious.” Producer Smurf: “No smurfing, really?” Ron Burgundy: “Yes. I can’t post to Instagram or Twitter or live-stream to Facebook.” Mouse: “Say, who’s the new…

Clown Hall Debate

Russian Hacker: “Lord Putin, per your instructions, we have modified the instant poll software for the American Presidential debate.” Vladimir Putin: “Excellent. Now leave me alone with my Precious for a bit. I just fished it out of the lava pool into which some…

Damage Control

Newspaper Clipping: “Furry Party Campaign In Disarray As Infighting Continues By A. NEWSHOUND The longshot fifth-party cam- paign of Dennis the Vizsla’s Furry Party was thrown into turmoil this week as Dennis’s long-time campaign manager Producer Smurf clashed with new adviser Vizzini the Sicilian…

Power Points

Gargamel: “As you are aware, Dennis, the path to electoral success is narrow, and victory is nearly as unlikely as winning a land war in Asia.” Dennis: “Oh for sure! Um, what does ‘electoral’ mean, exactly?” Gargamel: “The mouse told me you might ask…

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