Blue: “Why do you all shriek like that every time that kinght says—”
Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “Silence! Do not say that word!”
Norman #1: “Why do we shriek like that, Norman?”
Norman #2: “I don’t know, Norman. I just do it because everyone else does it.”
Knight Who Says ‘Ni’: “Now then, I have been keeping track of how many times you have said ‘the®’ and ‘herring®’ and according to the licensing fee scale, you owe us …”
Lulu: “A shrubbery?”
Tag: elf on the shelf
On The® Seventh Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me A Run-In With The® Knights Who Say ‘Ni!’
Lulu: “Wait, so you Knights who say … What was that word again?”
Knight who says ‘Ni’: “Ni!”
Ninja Hedgehogs & Spearmint: “AAAAUUUUGGGHHHH!”
On The Sixth Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me A Trademark That’s Used Improperly
Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “You’ve got a lot of nerve, sneaking into the Ninja Hedgehog Underground Lair®.”
Blue: “I wouldn’t say we’re sneaking.”
Lulu: “We’re here to bring the elves—um, I mean, elf—back to the … Wait, did you just actually say ‘®‘ after ‘Underground Lair’?”
Spearmint: “I’m not going back, coppers! The secret of mealworm genetic engineering wants to be free!”
On The Fifth Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me Elves Acting Stereotypically
Ninja Hedgehog #1: “Shouldn’t you guys be sitting on a shelf instead of on the ground?”
Cinnamon: “That’s a hurtful stereotype. We can sit anywhere we want to.”
Spearmint: “Why, have you got a shelf?”
Ninja Hedgehog #2: “Yes, there’s a rock shelf right over there.”
On The Third Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me A Ninja Hedgehog Conspiracy
Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “Our spies have told us that those cats and that dog have developed a new strain of Christmas mealworm.”
Continue reading “On The Third Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me A Ninja Hedgehog Conspiracy”Have You Done Your Market Research?
Chaplin: “I thought they were going to be like normal mealworms, only festive.”
Charlee: “Honestly, a giant mealworm is a little bit … What’s the word I’m looking for … disturbing.”
Mealworm: “I’m standing right here and I can hear you. Ho ho ho! Sorry, I don’t know why I said that.”
Green Elf #1: “Bigger is better! And we can charge more for each one, so the profits will be huge!”
Lulu: “I think the market for four-foot-long Christmas mealworms is maybe not as big as the market for regular-sized mealworms.”
Vermin: “HISSS! You don’t know that! You haven’t done any studies! We still might sell some!”
Green Elf #2 (sotto voce): “So listen, do you think you could introduce me to Smurfette?”
Producer Smurf (sotto voce): “I’m not supposed to smurf within a hundred apples of her, so, no.”
Did You Read The Job Description?
Lulu: “What do you mean, there aren’t elves all over the conference room? Just look at them!”
Vermin: “HISSS! Those aren’t elves. They’re scientists.”
Green Elf #1: “Yeah, that’s right, we green elves are all on the mealworm genetic engineering task force!”
Red Elf #1: “And we red elves are also on the genetic engineering taskforce!”
Producer Smurf: “Where’d you smurf your hat?”
Green Elf #2: “Standard North Pole issue. Yours?”
Producer Smurf: “Tailor Smurf.”
Meeting Crashers
Charlee: “Do you remember when the mouse asked you if you had hired elves to make Santa hats and boots, and you said no?”
Vermin: “HISSS! Of course I remember! I’m not a goldfish!”
Observed Around the House
It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas Mealworms
Vermin: “HISSS! So what will make the Christmas mealworms unique and let us charge a premium is that they’ll have a little Santa hat, beard, and boots.”
Spicoli: “Uhh, yeah, dude, that’s not horrifying at all.”