On The® Eighth Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me A Quest But Not To Find Shrubbery

Blue: “Why do you all shriek like that every time that kinght says—”
Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “Silence! Do not say that word!”
Norman #1: “Why do we shriek like that, Norman?”
Norman #2: “I don’t know, Norman. I just do it because everyone else does it.”
Knight Who Says ‘Ni’: “Now then, I have been keeping track of how many times you have said ‘the®’ and ‘herring®’ and according to the licensing fee scale, you owe us …”
Lulu: “A shrubbery?”

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On The® Seventh Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me A Run-In With The® Knights Who Say ‘Ni!’

Lulu: “Wait, so you Knights who say … What was that word again?”
Knight who says ‘Ni’: “Ni!”
Ninja Hedgehogs & Spearmint: “AAAAUUUUGGGHHHH!”

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On The Sixth Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me A Trademark That’s Used Improperly

Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “You’ve got a lot of nerve, sneaking into the Ninja Hedgehog Underground Lair®.”
Blue: “I wouldn’t say we’re sneaking.”
Lulu: “We’re here to bring the elves—um, I mean, elf—back to the … Wait, did you just actually say ‘®‘ after ‘Underground Lair’?”
Spearmint: “I’m not going back, coppers! The secret of mealworm genetic engineering wants to be free!”

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On The Fifth Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me Elves Acting Stereotypically

Ninja Hedgehog #1: “Shouldn’t you guys be sitting on a shelf instead of on the ground?”
Cinnamon: “That’s a hurtful stereotype. We can sit anywhere we want to.”
Spearmint: “Why, have you got a shelf?”
Ninja Hedgehog #2: “Yes, there’s a rock shelf right over there.”

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On The Fourth Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me An AMA* That Was Rather Silly

Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “All right, since you all insisted on seeing them, here are our spies, Cinnamon and Spearmint.”
Cinnamon: “Hi there!”
Spearmint: “Hello!”
Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “Now I gather you had some questions for them before we start the raids. So ask away.”

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On The Third Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me A Ninja Hedgehog Conspiracy

Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “Our spies have told us that those cats and that dog have developed a new strain of Christmas mealworm.”

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On The Second Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me Some Elves Who I Could Track Down And Eat

Vermin: “HISSS! So I need the two of you to use your noses to track down a couple of runaway elves. They smell like cinnamon and spearmint.”
Blue: “Track them down and eat them?”

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On The First Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me Some Elves Who Decided To Flee

Vermin: “HISSS! Well aside from a few elves getting eaten, that meeting went pretty well! Everyone likes the design of the … Hey, where is all the equipment? And the rest of the elves?”
Christmas Mealworm: “Those two elves you put in charge fired all the other elves when they tried to unionize, then they loaded all the equipment into a big truck and drove off with it.”

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Did You Read The Job Description?

Lulu: “What do you mean, there aren’t elves all over the conference room? Just look at them!”
Vermin: “HISSS! Those aren’t elves. They’re scientists.”
Green Elf #1: “Yeah, that’s right, we green elves are all on the mealworm genetic engineering task force!”
Red Elf #1: “And we red elves are also on the genetic engineering taskforce!”
Producer Smurf: “Where’d you smurf your hat?”
Green Elf #2: “Standard North Pole issue. Yours?”
Producer Smurf: “Tailor Smurf.”

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Herbology

After being shuffled from Potions to Magical Creatures, I have tried to give the students the benefit of my extensive experience with various beasts and varmints unknown to the general muggle population. Unfortunately, it appears that the children are not interested in learning about such things, and I once again am summoned before Dean Santa to explain myself.

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engaydj!!!

hello nice reederz its dennis the vizsla dog hay wel we hav agreed to joyn forses with the misteeryus adventcherer and mersenerry nown as arktikfoks hoo appeerz to hav his own reezons for wanting to tayk down sandy klawz wot hav nuthing to do with the nice list or the nawty list!!!

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