Deus Ex Cattina

gollum_victorious_1

Gollum: “Well now that we has collected our new Ray-Bans from the tricksy stoner dog, we thinks it’s time to has our snacky-snack mousie. Gollum!”
Dennis: “How many pairs of sunglasses do you carry around with you, Spicoli?”
Spicoli: “Oh, a dozen or so.”
Mouse: “Nice going, hipsters. Because of you, that freak thinks he gets to eat me.”
Charlee: “He totally cheated.”
Mouse: “Of course he did! How could you be naive enough to think he wouldn’t?”
Chaplin: “Well, we are just kittens …”
Mouse: “Trouble would never have let a pseudo-hipster get the better of her like this.”
Chaplin: “Trouble? Who is Trouble?”

Continue reading

Gollumic Pentameter

Smeagol: “I, Smeagol, declare that this poetry slam is on. Your first poem must be in Gollumic pentameter.”
Charlee: “Gollumic pentameter?”
Chaplin: “I don’t think that’s even a thing.”
Smeagol: “It might not be a thing on the surface, but it’s all the rage at Club Smeagol.”
Spicoli: “Why does the weird dude get to decide what kind of poem they do?”
Dennis: “I guess on account of we said he could be the judge.”
Mouse: “What have you hipsters gotten us into?!”

Continue reading

Join the Club

club_smeagol_1

Gollum: “We thoughts we would have our poetry slam here in Club Smeagol instead of out in the nasty wet cold part of the cave. Gollum!”
Charlee: “Are you kidding with this? You’re kidding right?”
Chaplin: “Could we visit the buffet before the poetry slam starts?”
Charlee: “Chaplin!”
Chaplin: “Sorry, Charlee. But you know how food motivated I am.”
Spicoli: “Dude, what kind of library has a shady nightclub and buffet in a cave in the basement?”
Dennis: “The kind of library where Tucker probably had a card.”
Spicoli: “Fair enough.”

Continue reading