The Consulate of China

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Spicoli: “Dude, did you steal your Dada’s phone again?”
Dennis: “I never steal Dada’s phone. It’s just that sometimes people leave important messages on it for me and he never passes them along.”
Mouse: “Fake calls from the IRS threatening lawsuits or from people overseas claiming they’ll give you money in exchange for your bacnk account number don’t constitute ‘important messages’, Dennis.”
Dennis: “Sure sure. I’ve learned my lesson about those. But this one isn’t like that. Check it out!”

(Note: This is an actual voice mail from Dada’s phone)

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A Batty Broclamation

Mouse: “Thanks for helping me look for my friend. So you two really like White Castle, huh?”
Kumar: “Well, when the burgers are the size of a dime, you have to buy a lot of them.”
Harold: “Hey, Kumar, there’s our buddy. Pull over and see if he needs a ride.”

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Royal Flush


Vermin: “HISS! Nasty dog! Stop monopolizing the TV! It’s time for my stories! What are you watching, anyway?”
Dennis: “I don’t know what it’s called but it’s a movie about a beagle who becomes the king of England. Also, some girl marries a lumberjack.”

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Back! To the Future!

Dennis: “I hope the Hipsters are doing all right with those ninja hedgehogs.”
James Bond (1986): “I’m sure there’s no need to worry about your little friends, Dennis. They can obviously take care of themselves.”
Mouse: “I’m not sure if you really believe that or if you just want a martini.”
James Bond (1986): “I’d love a martini. Thanks ever so much.”
Mouse: “If you think I’m offering to get you a martini then you clearly don’t understand the relationship between mice and humans.”

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Shaken Not Stirred


James Bond: “Stand back, my furry little friends. These creatures are dangerous!”
Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “So, Mr. Bond, you thought you could blow up our mealworm vats and not pay the price? Think again.”
Dennis: “I haven’t done anything to your mealworm vats. Lately. And why are you calling me Mr. Bond? The guy in the tuxedo is Mr. Bond. The guy who isn’t Chaplin, I mean.”
Ninja Hedgehog Commander: “Silence, hound! No one is talking to you.”
Chaplin: “Should we pounce on them, Charlee? I think we should pounce on them.”
Charlee: “Yes, we should definitely pounce on them.”
Mouse: “You two do realize the ninja hedgehogs are pointing a cannon at us, right?”
Mr. Nibbles: “It’s too bad Miss Trixie wasn’t born yet in 1986. Miss Trixie always knew how to handle ninja hedgehogs.”

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