Producer Smurf: “All right, let’s try to smurf ourselves together long enough to smurf some guesses as to what Bean’s genetic makeup is. First, let’s smurf from Vermin!”
Vermin: “HISSS! A nasty dog!”
Producer Smurf: “You smurfed the same guess for Lulu. Are you sure you don’t want to smurf a little more specific this time?”
Vermin: “HISSS! A nasty dog with asymmetrical ears!”
Producer Smurf: “The judges are smurfing me that ‘nasty with asymmetrical ears’ isn’t a breed, but they’ll allow it.”
Java Bean: “My ears are asymmetrical?”
Spicoli: “You know what would go well with that cake, dude?”
Blue: “No, what?”
Spicoli: “Coffee.”
Blue: “They had coffee in the room next door. I can go steal some.”
Chaplin: “I was sure he was going to say ‘Doritos’.”
Charlee: “So was I!”
Producer Smurf: “Welcome to Round Two of ‘Guess What Went Into That Dog’! You already smurfed our contestants, so let’s smurf hello to this week’s dog, Java Bean!”
Java Bean: “¡Hola!”
Spicoli: “Any luck finding refreshments in the Green Room, dude?”
Blue: “Well they have dog biscuits in there but they wouldn’t let me have any. I might stage a raid later.”
Norman: “Did I just hear somebody say something about a raid?”
Producer Smurf: “All right, our first contestant is Vermin!”
Vermin: “HISSS! I keep telling all of you! My name is Jill!”
Producer Smurf: “Vermin is some kind of wallaby or something. She smurfs around the house hissing at everyone.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Crazy smurf! I’m an opossum! The part about hissing is accurate though.”
Producer Smurf: “All right then, Vermin, let’s smurf your guess as to what kind of dog Lulu smurfs!”
Vermin: “HISSS! She’s a nasty dog! Just like all the other nasty dogs and cats! Also I think she’s a clone of Trixie.”
Chaplin: “Mouse, you ruled out cloning as a source of where Lulu came from, right?”
Mouse: “Well, I know Trouble’s Clone-o-Matic wasn’t used to make her, but it’s not like I checked every other Clone-o-Matic in the world.”
Producer Smurf: “What are you two smurfing down here?”
Java Bean: “The results of our genetic testing from Embark came back and we were just looking at them.”
Lulu: “Yeah, it says that I’m a—”
Producer Smurf: “Wait! Stop! Don’t smurf another word! I have just smurfed the most smurfy idea ever!”
Java Bean: “You have? What is it?”
Producer Smurf: “A breed reveal game show!”
*DOORBELL RINGS*
Lulu: (wagging tail)
Java Bean: “Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark!”
Charlee: “Why are you barking? It’s probably the fire department.”
Java Bean: “Didn’t you learn anything from watchdog class?”
Charlee: “Yes, I learned not to let Spicoli get to the taco truck first.”
Fire Department: “This is the Fire Department, how may we help you?”
Lulu: “Hi, we’ve got an animal stuck in a high place who needs help getting down.”
Charlee: “Psst, Bean, we have a business proposal for you …”
Java Bean: “How did you get back up here?”
Charlee: “I’m a cat. I have my ways.”
Chaplin: “Lulu, can you lend me a paw pushing this wine rack back into position?”
Lulu: “You pushed it out here, why can’t you push it back on your own?”
Chaplin: “Division of Labor. It’s Capitalism 101. Just ask the mouse.”
Mouse: “That’s not what Division of … You know what? Forget it. Just help the cat.”
Mouse: “Chaplin, why did you trap the Bean up on the fireplace?”
Chaplin: “I was hoping to get a break from him trying to play with me.”
Java Bean: “I think maybe I’ll just jump …”
Lulu: “Don’t jump! You’re not a cat!”
Chaplin: “I don’t see what the big deal is. You can still jump from the fireplace to the wine rack.”
Java Bean: “That’s crazy. Nobody could make a jump like that.”
Lulu: “Bean! How did you get up on top of the fireplace?!”
Java Bean: “Chaplin showed me how to do it! You climb up the dining room love seat, get onto the wine rack, jump from there to the half wall,up to the bookcase, and voila. Not too hard!”
Lulu: “That actually sounds extremely hard …”
Java Bean: “So what about the Canada goose stuffie or the little bee? Can we trade those for fish skins?”
Lulu: “No, those are things we’re allowed to have. If we try to trade them, Dada will just give them back to us.”
The Oceanside Animals 