Big Latin

Lulu: “It doesn’t look like that guy you hired did a very good job erasing the graffiti.”
Chaplin: “It’s so hard to find good help these days.”
Spicoli: “Maybe that’s because you hired somebody who ran away from the circus, dude.”
Batman: “It’s one of the Riddler’s riddles! Ed, you evil genius!”
Mouse: “Ed didn’t write this. That clown did.”
Batman: “What clown?”
Mouse: “The clown hiding behind that equipment over there.”
Joker: “Tee-hee!”

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The Mystery of the Missing Snacks

Lulu: “All right, so it sounds like the next thing we need to do is find Chaplin and the Riddler.”
Batman: “Excellent plan, Dog Wonder! So who is this ‘Chaplin’? Is he a villain with a little mustache and a bowler hat?”
Spicoli: “Close, dude. He’s a cat with a soul patch.”
Batman: “A cat with a soul patch? Diabolical! How will we ever track down such a fiend?”
Charlee: “I’ll just wave this flirt pole around a little.”

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Lulu’s Practical Dog’s Guide To Keeping Humans Entertained

Hello friendlies! Lulu here! You may remember that, a while back, I posted a how-to on converting cardboard boxes and similar items into jigsaw puzzles for your humans to assemble. Almost one year on, your humans may have gotten tired of the mental effort that puzzles require, and they may be looking for some other way to relax as we move into another summer. Fortunately, I have just the solution: Take some time out of your busy schedule to play with them!

Chaplin: “What is a dog’s schedule busy with, exactly?”
Lulu: “Oh, you know. Sleeping. Eating. Personal hygiene. Barking. Chasing squirrels. The usual.”
Charlee: “You’re more ambitious than we are.”
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I Hired Them from the Internet

Ed Nygma: “I’m sure your wall-mounted cat gymnastics set is a lot of fun, but a proper secret lair would be underground.”
Chaplin: “Oh, underground? Why didn’t you say so?”

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Observed Around The Board Room

Mouse: “… So as you can see, I’ve performed a thorough examination and analysis of Chaplin’s genetic makeup and I can confirm that this is really him, not some sort of replicant or alien impersonator.”
Spicoli: “That imagery is a little bit terrifying, dude.”

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All’s Sour That Ends Sour

Cyberman #1: “You and your accomplices are now prisoners of the cyber authority. You will be transported to an appropriate detention facility.”
Lulu: “Does this mean we’re all going to prison?”
Charlee: “Probably.”
Chaplin: “Given Dennis’s track record I’m surprised we’ve stayed out of jail this long, to be honest.”
Cyberman #2: “Where did you get your stereo installed?”
Cybersqueekle: “At Fry’s.”

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Rave Review

Emcee: “Thank you, Glitter Dogs tribute band the Rhinestone Rhodesians! And now put your hands together for Squeekles tribute band the Mopp Topps!”
Mr. Nibbles: “All right, you’re on. Now just remember, don’t be nervous, even though there’s going to be hundreds of people staring at you.”
Chaplin: “Pffft. We can ignore hundreds of people just as easily as we ignore one.”
Lulu: “Oh boy! People? I love people! Will they give me belly rubs?”
Cybersqueekle: “It will be fine. My emotional circuitry is disabled in firmware.”
Producer Smurf: “What a smurfy crowd! This could finally be my big break as a producer! I need to get some merchandise made up to sell!”
Mouse: “Excuse me, I think I see someone I know out there.”

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No Treble

Producer Smurf: “All right, I’ve smurfed you a spot on a battle of the tribute bands type thing.”
Cybersqueekle: “I do not remember hiring you to be our manager.”
Producer Smurf: “Oh, see, I already manage the others, so by majoritarian rule I’m smurfo facto the manager of the entire band.”
Charlee: “Why do we have to be the Squeekles tribute band and wear these ridiculous wigs?”
Chaplin: “Yes, why didn’t you tell him you would be in the band?”
Mr. Nibbles: “Because I can’t sing.”
Lulu: “I feel like a sheepdog.”

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Mallcats

Cybersqueekle: “The costume shop is this way.”
Lulu: “Everyone keep an eye out. I’m pretty sure this is the same mall where that Paul Blart guy stole my car.”
Producer Smurf (into phone): “No, I didn’t smurf the band played heavy metal, I smurfed that one of the members is metal.”

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Lulu’s Life Tips With Bonus Lyrics: “Boom Snack”

Hello friendlies! Lulu here, reporting from the bunker, also known as underneath Dada’s desk.

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