Mail Call

Mouse: “What are you hoping to get from having Blue use her thumbs to open the mailbox?”
Charlee: “We don’t really know, but Dada looks in it just about every day so there must be good stuff in there.”
Blue: “These letters all say ‘Bill’ on them.”
Lulu: “Hmm, there’s nobody here named Bill. Must be junk mail. Give them to me and I’ll shred them with my teeth.”

Put This Thumb To The Test

Mouse: “All right, the first test of your thumb functionality will be opening this can of dog food.”
Lulu: “Come on, Blue! You can do it!”
Producer Smurf: “I smurf thumbs too, you know, and no one is smurfing all over me about it.”
Spicoli: “No you don’t, dude. You have four fingers that all look the same. Besides, you never let go of your megaphone or your little book.”

Continue reading “Put This Thumb To The Test”

Game Change

Lulu: “So I take it the guys in the suits are in this cabinet?”
Blue: “Yes they are. Say, are those cupcakes?”
Charlee: “You really like stalking people around kitchens, don’t you?”
Blue: “Well, you know, if something makes you famous, you stick with it.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Why is that nasty Blue still here? She’s obnoxious, she has too many teeth, all she ever does is talk about food, and she’s not even really a bird!”

Continue reading “Game Change”

I Heard It On The SmurfChain

Mouse: “All right, Producer Smurf, you called this meeting so you have the floor.”
Producer Smurf: “Smurfy! I’m going to smurf the floor to Blockchain Smurf.”

Continue reading “I Heard It On The SmurfChain”

My Birdyguard

Lulu: “So phase one of your plan is to stack the toupees in a little pyramid?”
Mouse: “Well, that’s just to get them out of Spicoli’s van, since he apparently has urgent business to attend to.”
Spicoli: “That’s right, dude. Time is money, and money is Doritos, therefore time is Doritos.”
Chaplin: “Since when does a lizard hire a giant bird as a bodyguard?”
Lizard: “Since I made a fortune in SmurfCoin, that’s when! Go on, Blue, beat up this mean cat for me!”
Blue: “Okay, but first I’m going to need you to smurf another 0.00230123 SmurfCoin to my SmurfCoin wallet.”
Lizard: “*SIGH* Fine. Cat, can you wait around for the transfer to finish so that Blue over there can beat you up afterwards?”
Chaplin: “Uh, sure, I guess.”

Continue reading “My Birdyguard”

D-Mobile

Lulu: “I didn’t know you had an RV. How come we never take it on vacation?”
Mouse: “It’s not an RV, it’s a mobile lab. I borrowed it from my contacts in the government.”
Charlee: “You have contacts in the government?”
Mouse: “Of course. I’m from NIMH, remember?”
Lizard: “Help! Help!”

Continue reading “D-Mobile”

Overheard Around The Back Yard

Mouse: “Why did you guys want to talk to me out here instead of calling a meeting in the conference room?”
Lulu: “We’re concerned that it may become overrun by replicating toupees. Also, we don’t know how to use the calendar program to reserve time in the conference room.”
Mouse: “Well if you ever attended any of my in-services, then you would learn how to … wait, what was that about toupees?”

Continue reading “Overheard Around The Back Yard”

Observed Around the Board Room

Mouse: “First, I’d like to thank everyone for coming to this in-service …”
Producer Smurf: “Why are you thanking us? The memo you smurfed out smurfed attendance was mandatory.”
Vermin: “HISSS! Why do I have to be at this stupid meeting? I was barely involved in all this nonsense!”

Continue reading “Observed Around the Board Room”

The Unmasked Singer

Batman: “So tell me, have you ever considered adding cat ears to your uniform?”
Uhura: “Captain, we’ve locked onto the target destination for Josie and the Pussycats. Also, requesting permission to smack Batman upside the head.”
Captain Kirk: “Permission granted. Scotty, beam our guests down after Uhura smacks Batman.”

Continue reading “The Unmasked Singer”

The Gravity of the Situation

Bleep: “Bleep! Bleep! Bleep!”
Lulu: “I never had a stuffie that went ‘Bleep’ before. I feel like I’m being sweared at.”
Sebastian: “It’s the latest thing. Fully electronic.”
Valerie: “I have my doubts about this re-entry vehicle.”
Batman: “Don’t worry, Eartha, it’s perfectly safe. It will return your friends to Earth and then come back for us. Meanwhile, could you ladies put your Catwoman ears back on?”

Continue reading “The Gravity of the Situation”

Big Latin

Lulu: “It doesn’t look like that guy you hired did a very good job erasing the graffiti.”
Chaplin: “It’s so hard to find good help these days.”
Spicoli: “Maybe that’s because you hired somebody who ran away from the circus, dude.”
Batman: “It’s one of the Riddler’s riddles! Ed, you evil genius!”
Mouse: “Ed didn’t write this. That clown did.”
Batman: “What clown?”
Mouse: “The clown hiding behind that equipment over there.”
Joker: “Tee-hee!”

Continue reading “Big Latin”

The Mystery of the Missing Snacks

Lulu: “All right, so it sounds like the next thing we need to do is find Chaplin and the Riddler.”
Batman: “Excellent plan, Dog Wonder! So who is this ‘Chaplin’? Is he a villain with a little mustache and a bowler hat?”
Spicoli: “Close, dude. He’s a cat with a soul patch.”
Batman: “A cat with a soul patch? Diabolical! How will we ever track down such a fiend?”
Charlee: “I’ll just wave this flirt pole around a little.”

Continue reading “The Mystery of the Missing Snacks”